Feelin’ large and in charge

Feelin’ large and in charge

Cutie Cub on our walk today (before the weather turned bad). 💚
Hey-o! What’s new, blog-logs?

💖💕✨
I enjoy chocolates, flowers, and cards, but I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. BORING.

Glitter nails in nature.
Two of my nails broke off and split so badly I had to resort to covering them with old Sally Hansen nail stickers. They looked great…for 24 hours.

Tonight.
Sky enhanced with “Camera Plus”.

I got a rainbow in ma room! (Thanks @cat_marnell) 🌈
On the recommendation of a dusthead, I bought myself a rainbow for my room! It looks more impressive in this picture than it does in real life. I was hoping it would stretch across the room…it barely stretches over 2 feet. Heigh ho.

A couple of beggars watching me eat breakfast.
Currently I am recovering from my egg retrieval, which was on Tuesday (also my dad’s 65th (!!!) birthday).

Danger! Danger! Gluttony approaching! (this is why I can't go to Trader Joe's very often...)
The procedure itself was no big whoop, it only took about 30 minutes and I was knocked out for the duration, but maaaan those hormones did a number on my bod.

🌈🌟✨
My weight shot up, my breasts are enormous and sore, and my abdomen is so distended I could easily pass for a women in her 2nd trimester. Fun! Fun! Fun! (no fun)

Aren't these guys a little...early???
I requested Vicodin for the pain this time, as the oxycodone made me itch like crazy.

This "Dreamify" app is craaaazy, man...
Spend too much time playing with the “Dreamify” app, and you might just start seeing tracers! Oooheeewoooo!

Finally a little sunshine! 🌞
I keep telling myself, “If you think the bloating and breast pain are bad NOW, just wait til you’re pregnant!” which doesn’t make me feel better, at all.

I always wanted one of these guys. I filled it with Pacifica's mango grapefruit perfume, mmm.
This morning I Googled “weight gain after IVF” and there were about 4238742384 results, so at least this is “normal”. Groan.

Pre-surgery for egg retrieval. They retrieved 14, above average! 🌟
They retrieved 14 eggs, 6 of which were mature, which doesn’t seem like very many, but the good news is that all 6 fertilized, which they told me was VERY GOOD. Apparently normal fertilization rates are 50-75%, so we are ABOVE AVERAGE. Alriiiiiight.

Joshy looking cute in his floral shirt. ☕️
Now for the next few days the clinic will be calling me daily to let me know how the little guys are doing.

I like this mural at Macrina's.
I did work on Monday, two different jobs, which was good. I wouldn’t have wanted to work yesterday, ugh, too bloated. I feel the same way today. Whale-ish. 

Hate, hate your enemies Save, save your friends Find, find your place Speak, speak the truth
In the meantime I’m not supposed to be doing any “strenuous” exercise (ie running), so I’ve just been doing walks with the girls, a little light weight lifting and I started doing a little Blogilates again.

Some new colors to play with. You can never have too many nail polish colors.
All this free time has made me 87% more obsessed with my fingernails.

Drag is the Drug! 2010. NFS. 🌟
Thank goodness I have a painting to work on! I’m almost finished with it.

🌳
In non-Lizzy news, Josh is accepting a position in a different wing of the hospital he works at, one that will guarantee him full-time hours. This is good news.

Chelsea wants Chunk to get fucked up so she can judge him. 😂
I haven’t decided whether or not I like Chelsea Handler’s new show yet, but I DO know that I love her dog, Chunk! Lookit that faaaaaace!

Glass, shots, and cravings

Glass, shots, and cravings

Outside the EMP this afternoon.
Last Saturday, in efforts to Do Something Artistic Together on the Weekend, we headed over to the Chihuly Glass and Garden museum, right near the EMP.

Outside Chihuly Garden and Glass.
I had been wanting to go to this museum for yeeeeears. I don’t know what took us so long!

Amazing glass at the Chihuly museum.
It was a smaller collection than I anticipated, but they packed a lot into the space. Gorgeous.

Chihuly glass blending in with nature in the garden.
Outside in the garden, the Chihuly glass blended beautifully with real plants and flowers. They also had a tent set up outside where you could watch live glassblowing.

Looking up: the Space Needle and Chihuly glass.
So beautiful! Definitely worth a look-see.

Party lights in the bedroom! 🌟✨
I just returned from the fertility clinic, where I am happy to report that everything looks great. Follicles are looking just the way they should, so they started me on my third shot this morning.

Good girl! 💖
I am also happy to report that I’ve had zero side effects from the hormone shots! Hey, if this is how the nine months of pregnancy is gonna go, I’LL TAKE IT!

Today. 🌿
Josh has been shooting me up every evening. I look away when the needle goes in, but it doesn’t hurt.

Painting by Chihuly.
Whoops, this is more Chihuly. He paints, too. Love that teal and red combo. 

Such a dainty Cub!
I continue to go in every other day for bloodwork and ultrasounds.

Pretty sky this morning.
See that black speck in the sky? That’s a little tiny piece of dust, wedged in the camera lens of my iPhone. I took it to AT&T yesterday to see if they could do anything, and they just shrugged and told me NOPE. Losers.

Turns out, I like gummies, I like fried eggs, but I don't like fried egg gummies. Yuck!
That black speck is gonna drive me nuts, I tell ya. I got a craving for some “gourmet” gumballs so I drove to the nearest mall and bought gumballs, a few dark chocolates and these fried egg gummies, which were so disgusting, not even Bear Cub would eat them.

Bear Cub takes in the park.
Bad news: a month or so ago, I was given the choice of going strict full time or PRN at my current job. I chose PRN, thinking that I would still be working every day, just less hours, and they hired someone to work my job full time starting this week. I showed up at work naively expecting hours. WRONG. Apparently PRN means “we’ll call you when we need you”, which is this week’s case, has not been at all. Whoops. I accidentally gave my job away, dudes!

Bear Cub watching Maggie watching me.
And talk about bad timing! I NEED to be working right now, to save money for Robo Baby! I immediately texted my two old bosses for extra work. Maybe things will pick up next week. God, I hope so. I need to work.

Sometimes you just gotta go with your cravings. 🍪
Um, well…yeah, any day now, I’m gonna jump back on that low carb diet. Ungghhhh. I wish I could blame the hormones for the desire to put this in my body yesterday, but…it was all me! ALL ME! Side note: I ordered some dark chocolate calcium chews from Amazon to hopefully keep my chocolate cravings at bay. I mean, this is ridiculous.

Hello, I love you won’t you tell me your name?

Hello, I love you won’t you tell me your name?

Look at this cute little tea infuser my co-worker bought me! Now I just need to try drinking tea instead of coffee, ha ha ha yeah right.
My co-worker bought me this cute little duck tea infuser to replace my ADORABLE pink pig tea infuser that she apparently “threw out” one day while she was cleaning out the Fun Drawer. The Fun Drawer at work is the top drawer of the file cabinet, where all the chocolate/salty snacks/teas/coffees are kept. It is constantly replenished, and often a major downfall to my otherwise healthy eating day. Heigh ho!

Tongue out Tuesday? 👅
Speaking of healthy eating, I became ridiculously constipated this week, and as I watched my daily weight rise, I became correspondingly despondent over our weight loss competition. I decided I gave ZERO fucks, and threw in the towel. That day I ate 4 donuts. I mean, spread out over the course of the day, but still. Weight gain for 4 donuts: two pounds.

Bear Cub at the park today. I was trying all kinds of manipulations to get her to look at the camera, to no avail.
Meanwhile, my idiotic husband decides to pump up his desire to move his BMI into the “normal” category by going without eating and drinking water the day before his physical. He did, however, decide to drink a couple of shots. His body “rewarded” him with lots of vomiting. He actually called in sick yesterday to work. What a loser!

#ootd: butterfly skirt, teal tights and gold shoes. 💙
He did, of course, manage to make it across town for his physical, where he STILL weighed in at 3 pounds above “normal”. The BMI is a bullshit indicator of health that our insurance company still uses to reward/punish us.

Maggie will let me take as many pictures of her as I want...as long as I keep throwing the tennis ball!
I had my physical earlier in the week, and because they measured me at 5 foot 8, I barely scraped by into the “normal” BMI category. Baaaaarely.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before Maggie tore her new friend apart...RIP, hedgehog!
Maggie’s hedgehog toy is dead.

Look at how gleeful she is, with his stuffing all over her lips! What a violent little animal!
Come to think of it, this was actually Bear Cub’s Christmas present, but she doesn’t play with toys. Not like this wild animal!

It's Wildly Inappropriate Cleavage Friday! Whatcha doing this weekend?
Me a week ago, flaunting the only two good things about weight gain.

Beautiful sunny afternoon!
I need to get back to running again. The sloth lately ain’t doing me any favors.

Scored Joshy a pair of ski boots at the thrift store for 29 bucks! Woo hoo!
At my favorite Goodwill store, I found Joshy ski boots for only 29 bucks!

More progress. 💖🌟✨
This guy has been waiting for me to add glitter to it allllll week.

Little mushroom friend on our walk this morning.
It’s been raining like crazy lately.

Tail!
During the non-heavy-rain afternoons, we go for our daily walk.

What's that old joke about a piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye? 😍
I lost 4 Instagram followers when I posted this picture. Worth it!

Look on the bright side! 🌈
Looking on the bright side of things!

Awww. 💕 I like these new X-files episodes.
Have you seen the new “X-Files”? It’s gooood. They will be doing 6 new episodes, every Monday night. You should watch it.

This stuff is making me crave donuts. 🍩🍩🍩
According to Josh, Maggie chewed this up last night. Typical.

Misty afternoon at the dog park.
Tomorrow night we’ll be kicking off my 10 days of hormone injections! 3,000 dollars worth of hormones, that arrived in a GIANT box. So many syringes, siiiiigh. The effects are supposed to mimic pregnancy, so I’ll be sure to pipe up next week to let this blog know how it feels, bwa ha haaaaa.

Maggie and her (soon to be destroyed) dragon.
I was complaining about the side effects of the birth control pill–like the non-stop bleeding and period-like cramping, and my fertility doctor did say that people complain more about the Pill side effects than the hormone side effects…so that’s good. Because the Pill SUCKED.

Out to Thai with this guy. 🍚
Last night I forced Karen Carpenter to go out to Thai food with me. He whined a lot about his stomach hurting on the way there (I ignored him), but once we started eating he felt better. I made him promise me that he would never starve himself again. ANNOYING. Catch ya later!

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

🌈
Monday AGAIN? Look at how pretty that aqua is. Mmmmm.

Dog run! 🎾
This week in Making a Robo Baby News, we are taking an hour-long class on how to administer the 10 days of shots I will have shortly. That’s right, an entire class on how to shoot up! Woo hoo!

Trim or grow out??? ✂️✂️✂️
This is what my cute little sculpted Bettie Page-esque bangs grew into after a month. After a brief IG survey, I opted to trim them, instead of grow them out. Let’s face it: my face is just better with bangs.

Today's outfit: Blue sparkle sweater and Paisley corduroy skirt that I made.
I need to lose a few more pounds to be able to wear more clothes–I’m sick of the 3 pairs of fat pants I have in rotation. Josh and I started a “Dietbet” between just the two of us–yesterday, at Day 20, I had lost 8.2 pounds and he had lost 5. Of course this fluctuates daily, but those first 4 pounds of Fleeta’s sugar cookies came off the fastest. Now it’s WORK. If he beats me, I have to go skiing with him…you can imagine, I’m very motivated to win.

FINALLY I won't have to move my tiny heating pad all over my body to keep warm, ha ha haaa.
I bought this for myself off of Amazon and have zero regrets–no more moving a tiny heating pad all over my body at night when I read! It’s delightful.

Fetchy furry fun times.
Yesterday I laid on the couch ALL DAY LONG and we watched the football game (or rather, he did; I’m thoroughly invested in “Creepypasta” right now), “The Visit”, which was a good movie with a twist, “The Godfather” (for the 4373465th time) and I got through 3/4ths of “The Martian” before I decided I would rather take a shower than finish it.

My little brother and me. We're probably both wearing black because I dressed him up...I put wigs and tutus on that poor kid for as long as I could! Hence his pout. Ha ha, memorieeeees...
Awwww look at me and little Stew. I loved dressing him up. The “photo shoots” started early.

Maggie says, "Happy Friday!"
Look at this ten year old dog.

New project.
New Mandala project: NEON!

Bear Cub exploring on a crisp sunny morning.
This is a nice shot of Bear Cub. Which reminds me, I had better get our butts outside before it starts getting dark. Ugh winter, UGH.

Three new paintings!

Three new paintings!

pink heart 1
Ahoy! Guess what I did today? Besides work and walk the dogs and get all crazy on a Venti latte, I mean?

pink heart 2
I posted not one, not two, but THREE new paintings to Etsy!

pink heart 3
Yes, I’ve been working on some heart-shaped Mandalas for the past couple of months and it was time to set them free!

pink heart 4
Here is the link to the first one, “Pink Glitter Heart Mandala”.

blue heart 1
Speaking of hearts, lots of hearts are broken today because David Bowie died.

blue heart 2
He had been privately battling cancer for the past 18 months. Poor David Bowie!

blue heart 3
Meanwhile, Keith Richards is lighting up his 15th ciggie of the morning…

blue heart 4
Here is the link for the second painting, “Teal and Red Rhinestone Heart Mandala”.

sparkle heart 1
I’m still really enjoying creating these Mandala paintings. I guess I need to do a neon one next, eh?

sparkle heart 2
So much glitter.

sparkle heart 3
I tried out different colors for the background before settling on this aqua, I’ll have you know. I can’t help that it’s just the perfect color!

sparkle heart 4
Here is the link for the third painting, “Flowers and Vines Glitter Heart Mandala”.

Time for me to take this caffeine high to the treadmill! Catch you later, dudes.

A little surgery

A little surgery

Pre-surgery glamour, darling. 💋
Just offering up a little pre-surgery GLAMOUR, sweetie darlings. The polyp removal was no biggie. I had zero anxiety going into it, which is kind of impressive, considering in my 20’s I’d have to pop a Xanax every time I went to the doctor! They hooked me up to an IV, I passed out during the 30 minute operation, and woke up groggy and HUNGRY (I had to completely fast the entire day leading up to the surgery, which was at 2 pm).

Ignoring the “no big meals after surgery” suggestion, we went to a diner where I ate a CARB, DAMMIT, AND IT WAS GOOD. A little cramping/bleeding since the surgery, but nothing unusual, considering the birth control pills I’ve been on for the past month have been making me bleed every day. Uh huh.

They gave me oxycodone for the post-op pain, which of course I took (for fun). ZERO fun. Nothing at all! At least vicodin always inspired me to clean my house! How do people get hooked on this stuff? 

At the park today with a couple of fuzzy butts.
Now that the polyps are gone, I am awaiting the next step in the series of events to get Lizzy knocked up! They want me to stop taking the birth control pills now, and re-start on January 12th. I wonder if that means I’ll be getting a period? Isn’t that what usually happens? Oh, it’s been so long and I don’t feel like Googling right now. So there.

Of interest!!! 🍇🍇🍇
Preeeeeetty sure these earrings I found on Etsy were made for moi. Haven’t bought them…yet.

Little droplets. 🌿
My goal today is to take the girls for a looooong walk, but considering it’s 36 degrees outside we’ll see how long that lasts. Maybe I should wear two pairs of pants. Hmmm.

I like the fancy green light in our parlor. 💚
Here’s the crazy green globe light we purchased at “Display & Costume”. Pretty pretty!

This was a good one.
I’m still plowing through library books at a steady rate. On this last trip I Googled “Best thriller novels of 2013” and selected about 8 of them. This one was pretty good.

🌿
My goal for this weekend is to finish up the two heart Mandala paintings and post them on Etsy. It’s a good goal.

This stuff is not good. Unless you like your OJ watered down and flavored with Stevia. 😝
YUCK. If you want your orange juice watered down with Stevia added, this is the drink for you!

Josh bought me this bra. He has good taste.
Bra bought by Josh, for Christmas. Teal, lace, and Betsey Johnson? He knows me well.

Ta ta for now, blog-logs.

My dog likes to party all the time

My dog likes to party all the time

Early Joshy art.
Early Joshy art that I retrieved from his parents’ house during Christmas break. Pretty greens!

Sorting rhinestones for "fun". ✨
Sometimes when you have ADD and you get all pumped up on caffeine it’s “fun” to do organizing activities, like say organize all your loose rhinestones into colors. JUST DON’T DO IT FOR THREE CONSECUTIVE HOURS, IN A WEIRD POSITION. Josh said I was hunched over the table like “Mr. Burns”, and the next day my back was throbbing. Don’t worry, I learned my lesson! When I started sorting my sequins, I did it in 30 minute increments only!

Mmm, sun. 🌞
Just about all of my eyelash extensions fell out. I had them replenished last weekend. It took an hour and a half. Worth it!

Winter landscapes.
Meanwhile, winter, you can go away now. It’s been trying to snow here, but luckily not sticking.

Gold glitter shellac for a sparkling New Year! ✨
Current shellac: gold glitter. Kind of boring. Next time I’ll do something weird.

I was SO excited about this parabolic microphone Josh bought me for Christmas but it's a piece of crap. I can't even hear the neighbors! 👎
I’ve always wanted a parabolic microphone (the nosy person’s DREAM TOY), and Josh finally got me one for Christmas. Unfortunately, he got this piece of crap for something like 30 bucks on Amazon, and it barely works. Sure, I can hear the sound of Maggie sniffing a little louder, but I certainly can’t hear anything beyond 15 feet away. LAME.

I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions but I was thinking it might be fun to not cut my hair this year. See how long it will get.
Should I grow my hair and bangs out this year?

I ordered a replacement wallet by Deux Lux and the glitter is loose, not laminated like my old one. I wonder if I can Mod Podge it?
I ordered this wallet to replace my other Deux Lux wallet that has a broken zipper, and instead of glitter laminate it came like this, with chunky glitter glued on. It immediately started shedding. It’s so beautiful, though, I haven’t returned it yet. I just admire it from the box every time I walk to the kitchen to grab a clementine. I just can’t get enough of those clementines! (only 9 grams of carbs, thanks Google)

What a show!
What a lucky woman I am.

Cold walkies today. Right after I took this, it started snowing.
Right after I snapped this photo, it started snowing.

This beanie is supposed to be "slouchy" (think Johnny Depp in the 90s), but on me it's tight. Oh, the perils of having a big head!
This was intended to be a slouchy, Johnny Depp-in-the-90’s beanie, but instead it’s skin tight. Should’ve known. Me and my big head!

Mandala with rhinestones!
Mandala with rhinestones! Getting out the red rhinestones was what prompted me to sort all those little fuckers by color. I listened to “The Making of a Murderer” during that activity. What a story!

Josh bought me a book all about crazy-ass art rings! Oooh.
Josh got me a really cool book of art rings. I do love weird jewelry!

Today I’m going to walk the pets in the cold rain then hunker on the treadmill for 2 miles then work on the latest Mandala, which I screwed up BIG TIME. Happy days!