Wigs, old people, and party non-invitations

Wigs, old people, and party non-invitations


Welcome to my wooooorld. So many boxes, such little time.

“Unpacking is a lot more fun than packing,” said the Broad today over the phone, and I couldn’t agree more. Unpacking IS fun! Packing is the WORST!


Rejected “Old Man” Halloween Wig #1. We were shocked, actually, by just how bad the quality of this wig was. No bueno!


Rejected “Old Man” Halloween wig #2! This was at the Goodwill, which means it was a used wig. Ewwwwwwww. In the end, Josh bought himself a bottle of white shoe polish at the drugstore and he’s going to rub it all over his head to simulate white hair. Yeah, I know! Tried to convince him to get a temporary hair spray but he really wanted that shoe polish.


Meanwhile, this was my first rejected “Old Woman” wig–not a bad wig, really, but not exactly the look I was going for. Even as an old woman, I plan on having long hair. Long Hair 4 Life!


Still, just for fun, I tried on this crazy number. Nahhhhh.

I ended up going with a long, straight grey wig that was labeled “Grey Witch” or something of that sort. We didn’t even go to my beloved “Display & Costume” this year–shocking and sad, but we have to save money for the New House! No 30 dollar wigs for this miss!


Saturday night we took a break from the tedium that is packing up a house, tried on our costumes, watched a shit ton of Youtube tutorials on make-up to look old and then laughed our asses off while taking pictures of each other. That was the highlight of the weekend, let me tell ya! Oh Halloween, I still love you so. Always and forever. People keep asking me what I’m going to be, so instead of saying “an old woman” I’ve started saying “my future self”. Plenty of grandma’s jewelry is featured in my Future Self costume.


Speaking of old people, look at this tasteful magnet I bought Joshy during my last trip to Boise. I cleaned off 95% of the crap we had stuck all over our refrigerator, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to remove this magnet.


I bought this used cane as part of my costume, disinfected it, and proceeded to cover it in holographic glitter stars. A cane’s gotta have FLAIR.


Impulsively, Josh added these fangs to his Old Man costume and surprised me by shambling out into the living room. I laughed so hard, tears ran down my face.


In non-Halloween news, look at this lovely apple tree I spotted the other day on our dogwalk! Very picturesque.


I’d been dying to watch something funny so we rented “Grandma’s Boy” from Netflix and laughed hysterically watching it last night. LOVE THAT MOVIE! We need to own it. I recommended it to my co-workers today. Do yourself a favor and watch it multiple times!

Last night I was in the process of vacuuming and cleaning the house, so I was sweaty, grimy, covered in dog hair, wearing an old stripey shirt and some baggy old running shorts and some winter socks (what do you clean the house in?). Josh was out back cleaning the disgusting, spider-riddled backyard patio, so when I heard a knock on the front door I just assumed it was Josh, and he had locked himself out.

Helloooooo?” I called through the door crack in an obnoxious voice.

“It’s your neighbor!” replied a male voice. Oops.

I opened the door and there stood my neighbor, who I had only talked to once or twice. He’s a decent-looking fella probably in his early 20’s, if I had to guess. He proceeded to tell me that he was planning on having a Halloween party Friday night.

Oh!” I said happily in anticipation of an invitation.

“So I thought I’d give you my phone number, in case we get too loud…”

Oh,” I said. Without skipping a beat, I added, “I thought you were going to invite us!”

“Heh heh,” he laughed nervously, AND LOOKED DOWN AT HIS SHOES.

So not only did my neighbor come over to my house to tell me he was going have a loud Halloween party (my favorite holiday, mind you), he wanted to warn me that it might get loud and HE DIDN’T EVEN INVITE US. Seriously? Am I that old? I am that old. I AM TOO OLD TO ATTEND 20-SOMETHING’S PARTIES.

I mean, not that I would even go, but it hurts a little to not even be invited. And sure, I looked like crap, but what if my hair and make-up had been done? With a cute little outfit on? Would he have invited me then? I’m not so sure.

I told Corinne this over the phone and she assured me that he was just a weirdo, that it’s normal to invite your neighbors to your party. Even if they don’t come over, you still invite them anyway, that’s what neighbors do.

Hell, that’s what I would do, and have done, over the years. Be a good neighbor! Don’t just come over and brag about your huge awesome loud party.

Oh well. I’m moving anyway. Sniff.

Here’s hoping YOU have a fun Halloween, blog-logs! And please invite me to your Halloween parties. Love, Liz

Scary Movie Month Reviews: “Eyes Without a Face”

Scary Movie Month Reviews: “Eyes Without a Face”

Untitled
Welcome to the final installment of my Scary Movie Month reviews! Predictably, I burned out on scary movies at some point last week, and now all I want to watch are comedies. You understand, I’m sure. “Eyes Without a Face”, the beautiful 1960 French-Italian film (which inspired the Billy Idol song that’s in my head now), is the last horror movie I sat down and paid attention to.

“Eyes Without a Face” is about a brilliant crazypants plastic surgeon who has vowed to restore the face of his daughter, who was mutilated in a car accident. He attempts this by kidnapping young women, surgically removing their faces, and grafting them onto his daughter’s head. That’s right, it’s just like “Face/Off”, only black and white and 37 years earlier! This movie is both grisly and beautiful–the grisly being the very realistic-looking face-removal surgery scene, and the beautiful being scenes of the daughter floating around her father’s mansion in gorgeous, ethereal Givenchy gowns, wearing a creepy white face mask in between surgeries to cover up her deformed visage. The scene where the daughter loves on all the dogs that her father keeps in cages was another stand-out for me. Don’t worry (SPOILER ALERT), those dogs get their revenge in the end! This film is not for the faint of heart, but definitely worth viewing. Not for children, though.

Scary: 3 out of 10. I wasn’t scared, but it has the potential to give you nightmares.
Gory: 6 out of 10. The surgery scene alone is enough!
Boring: 1 out of 10. At a run time of only 84 minutes and such amazing cinematography how could one possibly be bored?

Happy Sunday. I’m “enjoying” leisurely packing boxes, hugging Maggie and Bear Cub, and munching on a mint cookie chocolate bar. Josh woke up this morning and ran 20 miles for “fun”. Sound fun? Last night we tried on our Halloween costumes, watched a ton of youtube tutorials on Old People make-up and painted on wrinkles, and then spent a good 20 minutes snapping pictures of each other and laughing our asses off. Now THAT was fun!

Testing testing testing photo post

Testing testing testing photo post

Blog! Let’s try this again. Yesterday and today I hit publish on my blog entry and the entire entry disappeared, save the title and category links. LAME. That used to happen to me all the time back in the Blogger days, before I moved to WordPress. It got so bad I used to type all my blog entries in Word, then paste them into Blogger.

Update: thanks D.S. Webster for helping me fix my WP problem!


This blurry Instagram photo was taken exactly one week ago. I was standing at the dog park in the pouring rain wearing my Hunter wellies, a rain jacket AND holding an umbrella for good measure…and no one else was around, just me and the girls. My father called me and we had a great long phone conversation while I stomped around in the mud about dogs, which wood is best for hardwood floors (he tells me cherry wood is horrible–too soft), and “The Property Brothers”.


I’ve seen “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Breakfast Club” countless times, but I still have yet to make it through “Pretty In Pink” in its entirety. We started watching it recently and then, predictably, got bored. However, the Duckie character was clearly the best of the bunch. Gay as the day is long!


I’ve been finding all kinds of fun things while packing, including this little Edie Sedgwick wristlet. In the New House we’re going to have 2.5 bathrooms, and I’m pretty sure one of them needs to be Warhol Factory silver. With glitter finishes! Can you dig it?


Heart-shaped rocks always catch my eye. If they’re especially pretty I’ll take them home.


I am in looooove with this tree. This is the second year in a row I had to pull the car over and take pictures of it.


Mushroom season is in full bloom ’round here. Today outside Walgreen’s I saw a cluster of Amanitas! Can you imagine?


Something possessed me to participate in “Throwback Thursday” on Instagram yesterday and post this picture of Little Lizzie–it cracks me up. Those bangs! That ruffly pinafore! Classic.

TGIF, beeg time. I just returned home from an hour at the dog park, so that Maggie will ignore me for the rest of the night. Last night she could sense my excitement over Halloween shopping and she was ALL OVER ME. I mean, literally. It was ridiculous. We went out and started gathering supplies for our old people costumes…and let me tell you, it wasn’t much of a stretch! I mean, the muumuu that I bought I would actually wear. Minus the ruffle, of course. It was a welcome diversion…every time I’m home now all I can think about is PACKING!

Tonight we have promised ourselves NO PACKING. We have all weekend for that. Happy weekend, blog-loggers, I’m gonna hit publish now and hope for the best!

Help!

Help!

Sigh. Still having the same issue: when I hit publish on my blog entry, everything but the first paragraph disappears. I’ve written to the WordPress forums so hopefully this will get resolved soon–frustrating.

House inspiration and a sweet little girl

House inspiration and a sweet little girl

get a haircut
One word regarding the 1968 monstrosity of a film that is “Skidoo”: SKIDON’T. Just take my word for it!

beggers
Would you look at these little beggars? This was while Josh was cooking up some faaaaantastic beef stroganoff last week. We were disappointed that it only lasted two nights. I’m the sort of cook who likes to make enough dinner to last three or even four nights.

aqua bedroom
Current obsession: “The Property Brothers”, via Netflix. This demanding woman requested red red red everything, but Jonathan convinced her to go aqua for the bedroom and it turned out SO BEAUTIFUL! I took this photo to remember later for inspiration. Something in the New House has to be aqua–I’m really drawn to that color.

Ronia is adorable
Spending time with little Ronia is always fun!

Saturday night we drove over to the Manse to have dinner with Josh’s sister and fam, plus his parents and 88-year old grandmother who happened to be in town. We were both worn out from packing all day but managed to get it together and we had a very nice time.

Ronia's fab glitter art
Ronia’s glitter art caught my eye. Brenna shared with me a Halloween-themed story book that she and Ronia had put together. Brenna wrote out Ronia’s story and Ronia added the illustrations. She has quite an artistic eye, that one! It makes me happy.

Ronia is changing the baby
Ronia and I changed her baby’s outfit and later, after dinner, made various food items out of Playdough. I miss spending time with her!

IT’S MONDAY BLOG. It’s Monday, it’s October 20th and I don’t even have my Halloween costume gathered up. Where are my priorities at? (house) (packing) (house) (packing). Oh yeah. Time to get packing.

Movies, books, and walkies

Movies, books, and walkies


Test test test. I’m not sure if this link will work or not…this is the first time I’ve posted an Instagram video to my blarg. I call it “Zen Leaf”. AhhhoooOOOaahhhhh…

Watching "The Changeling" for the first time.
My face while participating in Scary Movie Month. This was during the viewing of “The Changeling”. I actually finished watching another horror movie last weekend, but I haven’t had time to type up my review…”Eyes Without a Face”, a black and white French number that I’m 87.9999% I had seen before. A really good film.

Weekend reading. I love cracking open a thriller by a new author. And an old one too.
I’ve been reading up a storm the past couple of months…every night for at least two hours. “Before I Go to Sleep” was excellent–I read the entire book in one day and then told everybody I know that reads about it. I HATE IT when I read books in one day, but sometimes you just can’t put them down.

Leafy trails ahead
Still making time for my furry friends every day, rain or shine. Today the sun was shining and it was 68 degrees…SO GOOOOOD. A patient of mine tells me that an unusually hot summer/Fall means a particularly brutal cold winter…but I’m just going to avoid thinking about that right now.

So many New House thoughts cramming up my head right now, there’s room for little else. In between the horror movies, we have actually started watching shows about home improvement. I know, I can’t believe it either. Who am I?

I feel like I’m getting a cold but I’m going to continue denying it with lots of EmergenC in ice water and chewy multivitamins and hot showers. This is not an appropriate time to be sick, body!

Scary Movie Month Reviews: “House” (the insane 1977 version)

Scary Movie Month Reviews: “House” (the insane 1977 version)

house 1977
I found myself riddled with PMS this weekend, glued to the couch where I was simultaneously skimming feminist (cough) blogs, layering glitter polish over my chipped glitter polished nails, AND making my way through a horrible early David Lynch short film (the longest 34 minutes of my life) when “House”, the 1977 Japanese version, popped up under suggestions to watch next. Oh Hulu! You so cray!

THIS MOVIE IS INSANE. The basic film premise is about a schoolgirl traveling with her six classmates to her sick aunt’s country home…where things suddenly take a turn for the Weird. One by one the girls are killed off by a supernatural force. This movie, a ‘la Stefon, Has Everything: a piano that eats girls! A blood-spewing pussy (I mean, painting of a cat!)! Dancing skeletons! And about a billion other oddities that really have to be, um, “experienced”.

According to the Wide Wide World of Webs: “...the director fashioned the script after the eccentric musings of his eleven-year-old daughter, then employed all the tricks in his analog arsenal (mattes, animation, and collage) to make them a visually astonishing, raucous reality.”

Yup. This puppy was made in 1977, but not even released to North America until 2010! I think maybe we needed that long to process it. I know that I might have to watch it again…way too much to take in one viewing!

Scary: 3 out of 10. Maybe. This movie is too weird to be scary. NOT FOR CHILDREN THOUGH.
Gory: 7 out of 10. Lots and lots of gore.
Boring: 0 out of 10. NO WAY you can be bored by this film!

Hello blog here we are again! I’m all riddled up on late afternoon coffee and Midol. Joshy is out for one of his “Gonzo Abusive” runs. I’m about to start packing some more things in boxes. I realize photos on this blog have been few and far between but believe you me, once we move over to the New House it’s gonna be full of photos all over again! Photos of the New House, of course!

Scary Movie Month Reviews: “The Changeling”

Scary Movie Month Reviews: “The Changeling”

the changeling 1980

How could a horror fan like me somehow skip over “The Changeling”? It came out waaaaay back in 1980, and it’s just the sort of slow-moving creepy supernatural scary movie that I like, and it features a big ol’ haunted house. I just love movies with big ol’ haunted houses. This film is about a man whose wife and daughter are tragically killed in a road accident. Grieving, he decides to get away from it all by renting a big ol’ (haunted) house outside “Seattle” (ie: Vancouver). Soon, things begin to go BUMP in the night! A seance produces ghostly voices! His daughter’s bouncy ball keeps appearing out of thin air! And WHAT is that damn banging sound?

I liked this movie. This may very well be the first “scary” movie I’ve watched this month. I mean sure, “The Ring” was scarier, but this is a good old fashioned ghost story. One you can watch with your Grammy.

Scary? 6 out 10, if you like spooks and no dumb special effects.
Gory? 1 out of 10. Relatively gore-free.
Boring? 2 out of 10. I wasn’t bored! And I bore easily.

Hey hey it’s Saturday. The pets are chewing on fresh rawhide bones, Josh is out being stupid on a bicycle somewhere with his muncle*, and I am powering down a 16 oz coconut latte and preparing to put stuff in boxes. We have a lot of stuff.

 

* muncle: Uncle Mike

Blogged: Scary Movie Month Reviews: “You’re Next”

Blogged: Scary Movie Month Reviews: “You’re Next”

you're next
We watched “You’re Next” last night. I feel like there should be an exclamation point after Next, but there isn’t. This movie is about an Australian girl attending her new (non-Australian) boyfriend’s family reunion, celebrating his parents’ 35th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately during dinner, a gang of animal-masked baddies start viciously attacking and killing them off…and you’re left to speculate, which one of the family members is in on it?

The movie starts out a little slow-paced, and none of the characters are particularly likeable, really, but a twist is always fun (even if it is a little predictable) and one of the characters (no spoilers here) definitely shows some bad-assery. As far as this type of movie goes, it’s a pretty decent one. Would I watch it again? Nah, but it’s worth seeing once.

Scary? 2 out of 10. It won’t keep you up at night.
Gory? 5 out of 10. Some cringe-worthy scenes.
Boring? 4 out of 10. It kept our (limited) attentions!

I always feel like some dog is watching me

I always feel like some dog is watching me

sally detail
My father’s 14-year-old Lab Sally has finally gone off to the Great Doggy Park in the Sky. At least she didn’t suffer, and wasn’t terribly incontinent all over the house like poor Abbie was near her death. She simply stopped eating for two days, then wouldn’t take any water, and finally she couldn’t walk down the stairs anymore because her hind legs stopped working (the thought of my father carrying his old crippled dog out to go pottie is BREAKING MY HEART). My family went out this morning and had her put down. So long, Sally! You made my parents dog people, and for that I am forever grateful! You will be dearly missed. Man I hate it when doggy friends die.

River dogs.
My doggy friends on the Boise river, a few weeks ago. I thought it was really sweet that my little brother (my now married little brother) went with my parents to put Sally down this morning. Maw.

Fungus among us.
Fall means mushrooms.

Josh's gross bloody bicycle injury. He came home totally unfazed and proceeded to eat his dinner...I had to pressure him into cleaning the wound. Ugh, men.
Josh came home from a bicycle ride with this HUGE bleeding wound on his arm, and proceeded to tuck into his dinner like No Big Deal. I yelled at him until he finally went into the bathroom to wash and smear some Neosporin on it. Of course, he didn’t BANDAGE it and then what do you think got smeared all over the couch later on? Uh huh. Gross. Men.

This soap smells nice.
Not exactly sure that this eggwhite soap does anything for the complexion, but it smells really nice and you can buy a box of six bars on Amazon for like 11 bucks, so…score? I’m also into that African Black Soap. I’ve had the same bar for MONTHS.

Today Mother Nature got high and it was a sunny 75 degrees. In October. Mind you, I'm not complaining!
Taken on Monday this week, when Mother Nature got really high and decided to give us mid-70’s temps. In October! Even today I was at the dog park in a short-sleeved shirt. I hope this is a continuing trend, Seattle weather. Then of course everyone will want to move here.

It's beginning to look like Fall at the dogpark.
Maggie dog in her element. She just fetched the tennis ball for about a half an hour straight at the dog park before finally getting tired enough to flop down in the dirt. That crazy Maggie!

I’m planning on continuing my Scary Movie Month reviews but it’s been really challenging because 1. I’ve seen everything good and 2. I refuse to watch an entire bad movie. I’ve started a ton but finished very few. I’m optimistic, however, because I just put about 6 of them into our regular Netflix queue (as opposed to being limited by the Instant queue) so any day now!