Glitter for All

by Liz | May 23, 2013

Throw Momma from the Train Thursday

Look, it’s little me. Wearing high-waisted denim shorts (back in fashion now) and a purple tee-shirt with bears on it. I LOVE BEARS!

Went to my second Zumba class this morning. Half of the class is made up of tiny, elderly Asian women in full sweatsuits and they MEAN BUSINESS. They’re at the front of the room, hauling ass through those dances. I felt a little less clumsy this time, although I need to work on my body popping. I found a belly dancing class to attend next Wednesday, I figure, why not? I’ve always wanted to try it. I’m pretty good at shaking my ass around and swirling my hands in a mermaid-like fashion (thank you, years of raves).

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Filed under Exercise

by Liz | May 22, 2013

Whining about the weather and a weird musical

Good Grief, it’s cold today. About 62 degrees in the house, and we’ve been out of oil for a couple of weeks now. When we ran out I thought eh, no big deal–the temps were in the 70′s and it IS May, after all.

Of course, June is traditionally freezing in Seattle, that’s the part I forgot. I’m warming my ice cold fingertips up in my armpits and considering calling the oil refill place. The only thing stopping me is that it’s sooooo expensive. And lately we are barely making it paycheck to paycheck. Why, I don’t know. What’s changed? Was it that 500 dollar dentist bill I had to pay recently? Probably. At least I don’t have to go back for a long time.

The late afternoon sunlight was so magical and dreamy in the forest area of the backyard when I took these photos–it’s a shame it doesn’t translate into the photograph. I MISS YOU, SUN! I just checked the 10 day forecast and it looks like this: 55 62 60 61…blah blah blah crap. Maybe my annual trip to Boise should be in June this year.

Speaking of crap, someone recommended “Phantom of the Paradise” to me and I dutifully watched it. It’s an early Brian de Palma film–a musical that came out a year before “Rocky Horror” and was not nearly as successful. The thing about “Rocky Horror” is that I really do enjoy most of the songs–I can’t tell you how many times I’ve crowed, “Dammit, Janet…I love youuuuuu…” to my apathetic dogs. The thing about “Paradise” is that I liked ZERO of the songs. Actually I ended up fast-forwarding them.

The entire soundtrack was written by famous midget songwriter Paul Williams, who also stars as the record producer Swan who sells his soul to the devil and wears a variety of unflattering pant suits. To me, Paul Williams will always be the frog in the movie “Frog” and 100 bonus points to YOU if you’ve ever seen that film. I haven’t seen it since I was a kid, but I loved it. I mean, Shelly Duvall, how can you go wrong?

Today I am indecisive about going to the gym, but at least I know what I’m making for dinner (spicy sausage and escarole over bowtie pasta). I have a house to clean, a drawing to complete and a painting to start. And apparently I need ENDLESS amounts of coffee. Mmmm, coffeeeeeeee.

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Filed under Films

by Liz | May 21, 2013

the wedding

Here are the BEST of the wedding photos Josh and I took–which is not saying much, I’m aware. The actual ceremony was in a church–I felt a little verklempt, what can I say? I’ve never cried at a wedding (not even my own, thanks Xanax), but this was close. Then again, a few days ago “Beasts of the Southern Wild” made me cry, and then this morning the video of the old lady pulling her little dog out of the tornado rubble made me cry. So maybe I’m just a crier now, in my advanced age. BOO HOO.

The reception afterwards. The wedding started at seven, kind of late. We didn’t expect to be fed but there was food–not very good food, unfortunately.

I was looking forward to the CAKE, though! It was pretty good. I like the cuhluh.

One of the beautiful brides. I love Stephanie. She’s been my co-worker and my boss, and she usually comes to our Halloween parties, so that earns her big points with me. Plus she’s sweet and she loves drag queens.

Smiling Joshy.

My bangs look ridiculous. Sorry ’bout the double chin pic, Josh! Heh. Like he reads this blog.

Hey ladiiiieeeees. I hadn’t seen this many lesbians gathered in one place in a long time. You can see Bride #2, Erin, in the center. I wish I had taken some (clear) photos of her dress–it was beautiful. There was a gay couple in matching colorful silk suits and straw fedoras, and two handsome black men in fancy suits that kissed each other about three feet away from me, while I openly gawked. I mean, you know.

Speaking of gawking, I couldn’t stop staring at these two all night. They were hugging and kissing on each other most of the evening, and look at those legs! I offered them some compliments and then took their picture because, according to Christopher, the fact that I enjoy Chacos means I’m a lesbian. CHACOS 4 LIFE!

Ugh, I’m not so fond of the new Flickr, what do you think about it? I took my first Zumba class this morning–it was fun and very sweaty, and now I want to take some belly dancing classes. My mother wouldn’t let me take belly dancing as a teenager, talk about child abuse!

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Filed under Dressing up

by Liz | May 20, 2013

“I did not hit her! I did not. Oh hi, Mark.”

Happy Monday! Look at my gorgeous poppies. I looooove them. I’ve always been a fan of poppies.

I worked Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, hooray! I also applied for a second job, since my current job is so sporadic. I don’t really enjoy going an entire month without work. Although, I suppose, the weather was certainly cooperative.

Blackberry brambles in my OWN backyard! Now I don’t have to pick them at the dog park. Every year I have this elaborate fantasy of making blackberry crisp and crumble and pie, and now I can more um, easily make that dream come true.

I’m growing the usual basil, cilantro and dill. No vegetables this year, after last year’s disastrous tomatoes and squash.

For no particular reason, my legs in my new neon running shorts. I enjoy the look of an orange leg against a neon yellow short, what can I say. I took about 10 pictures of my legs.

Oh man. I’d read about this movie “The Room” on “The AV Club” website–it’s supposed to be one of the worst movies ever made, so of course I was interested in watching it. Have you seen this great documentary about the making of “Troll 2″? The documentary’s premise was hey, nobody intends to make a bad movie. The writer/director/producer/star/total weirdo of “The Room”, Tommy Wiseau (shown above), tried to use the old “I intended it to be a black comedy!” excuse (just like Gina Gershon a’la “Showgirls“), but nobody’s buying it. “The Room” is a travesty, an absolute horror of a film, barely tolerable, and I loved it. I promptly made a copy and I’m planning on showing it to EVERYONE.

Josh and I went to our first same sex wedding on Saturday! Hooray! Some very shoddy, blurry photos to come. Yesterday we went on a 4 mile hike around Bellevue and today my lower body is a little sore. I’ve developed a bunion on the outside of my right foot. Actually, it’s called a “bunionette”, and it’s from spending way too much time sitting cross-legged, a habit I’m having a really hard time breaking. I even have a sign posted to the computer that says “DO NOT SIT CROSS-LEGGED“, and I just uncrossed my legs typing this. The worst part is I don’t think there’s a cure for bunions, so I get to have this uncomfortable LUMP forever. Oh, the joys of getting old.

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Filed under Films, Funny

by Liz | May 16, 2013

Throwback Thursday

“Throwback Thursday”–way, WAAAAAY back. Look at the little sassafrass who enjoys being the center of attention, eh? I have no idea how old I was in this picture, but I love the 80′s pastels my parents are rockin’ in the background. Note my horizontal position–I do enjoy being horizontal. Truman Capote called himself a “horizontal writer”–I get it, Tru, I really do.

Ahem. I WORKED TODAY! FINALLY! After a month and a half of naps and reading endless “thriller” novels. Oy. There’s only so much of that a person can do, even a somewhat lazy person as myself. I mean, I try to shake it around. In fact I’m gearing up to go shake it around at the dog park right now, after I inhale this cup of coffee.

My doctor’s appointment yesterday went well, no cysts–so I’m back on Clomid again. You take it for 5 days, then try to have a baby, and sometimes you get pregnant, sometimes you don’t. You get 3 tries to make it work, then you move onto something else. LET’S HOPE IT WORKS. Also: no more cysts, body, that really hurt! Good grief. Corinne bought a Magic Wand on Amazon that turned out to be a “fake”–I thought that was Twitter-worthy. Here’s my Twitter, in case you forgot. Um…I recently discovered GOMI and fell under a two-day long obsessive spell reading horrible shit about all the bloggers/blogs I like. That was very toxic, and I would prefer not to do it again. Thank God I’m not popular enough to be on there, I mean, I still remember some kid at the public pool telling me I had fat ankles at AGE THIRTEEN, I don’t need any more grief!

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Filed under Blogging, Breeding

by Liz | May 15, 2013

Instagram: because I love you

Hey kids! It’s Instagram Wednesday! Hey man, IG is pictures TOO. Here are my wet pets, being wet.

Last week we had such glorious weather. This week it’s back in the 60′s, but so far this week has been nothing but cramps and sloth anyway so I’m okay with it. Going back for another ultrasound this afternoon to check for cysts before I resume Clomid (round 2) tonight.

I’m really into these yellow flowers. They are all over the park we go to daily.

Novocaine is a jungle cat. He spends most of his days longingly staring outside. Corinne won’t let him out during the day due to living on a busy street/high proliferation of crackheads about.

We went to Lowe’s and bought some already flowering things to plant, like POPPIES! I looooove poppies, and I’ve only been successful in growing the little tiny orange ones. I prefer the huge kind. Especially the pale pink ones with the black centers–sexy.

I’ve been wearing these Saltwaters sandals a ton. Apparently navy blue goes with everything! I’m tempted to get them in another color, like gold or silver, but I don’t know. Getting the credit card kind of burned me out on shoe shopping (amazingly).

Look who’s on the cover of the Stranger! JINKXY!

“There’s a cruise in November,” Josh told me last night, “Featuring 8 days and 40 drag queens, including Jinkx!”

I would never go on a cruise. Unless it was free. “Do you really want to be trapped on a boat for a week with a bunch of drag queens?” I asked him.

“Not really,” he said. “But I thought you might.”

“JUST TAKE ME BACK TO MAUI.”

I saw my old old old old old friend Lisa on Saturday. She was in town for a class and needed a ride to the airport. She had been up all night drinking with some random guy she met at a bar but was in fairly good spirits. At any rate, she looked a lot better than I would with no sleep (ugh–I remember those days–ugh ugh ugh). I took her to a music store and to a pub, where she proceeded to offer me her drink (twice), in spite of my well-known 5.5 years of sobriety. That’s okay. I just say NO! She bought a ukulele and a finger piano and some maraccas.

‘member my ukulele? I should really learn how to play it. I need a new hobby.

Recently I have watched “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion” (classic), “The Room” (one of the “worst movies of all time” and I LOVED IT), and “Phantom of the Paradise” (merp).

We’ve been doing a lot of this lately.

I was perusing the forest area of our backyard yesterday, and discovered blackberry brambles! Yayyyy! I was hoping they would eventually grow back there. Lord knows they grow everywhere else.

Apparently I’m an asshole because I was picking corn out of my teeth last night and broke out my temporary crown AGAIN. Or maybe my dentist is the asshole and they need stronger glue? Back to the dentist again! Siiiiiiigggggggh.

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Filed under Breeding, Films, Nature, Photo dump, Rogs

by Liz | May 14, 2013

Yellow

I stole this picture from Joshy’s Flickr stream (didja know he had one? Here it is) because it’s my favorite. That yellow really sets off my fake tan! Heh heh sigggggghhhhh. Big news today: Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy–what a bad ass. I have zero ideas of what to make for dinner tonight. My fingernails need painting. I’m going to watch THIS weird-ass movie later. Anything else? Anyyyyyythiiiiiiiing? Nope.

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Filed under Exercise

by Liz | May 13, 2013

The Color Run (was fun!)

Happy Monday, squirrelfriends. Here I am yesterday morning, driving to the Color Run, downtown at the Seattle Center. Neon shorts, rainbow socks, a dash of sparkly eyeshadow and pink glitter sunglasses? CHECK.

Joshy’s leg. We both wore knee socks for this race.

Pre-race and feeling fine! Thank God I started my period today (4 o’clock in the morning–thanks, body). First day of period + 5K = disaster.

This guy was feeling good too! His back has mostly recovered from last weekend, although he’s still going to the chiropractor this week. He wanted us to go on a 4 mile hike on Saturday and I said NO.

We were running a little late so we were part of the last group of runners, but that was fine with me. I decided not to stress out about pushing myself–which was good, because I had several side stitches during the run–yuck! Our time was 4 minutes slower than the Earth Day Race, but who cares?

“You gotta pay the troll toll…to get into this boy’s hole…” Hey, speaking of trolls, did you guys see this story? GROSS.

It was a lot of young people, like last year, and mostly women. All shapes and sizes, which is nice. I felt self-conscious in my neon short-shorts–I NEVER wear short-shorts out in “real life”, but shee-yit. It’s a race. Get over it.

Josh took pictures with his iphone. I figured there would be lots of butt pics–correct!

Maw.

Awwwrriiiiiite.

The “color stations”–where lots of volunteers blast you with colored powder–included yellow, orange, pink, and blue. I did not get blasted in the face this year, so I was grateful.

Finish line in sight! I’m glad I didn’t strain myself yesterday, because today, other than the crippling period cramps, I have ZERO body pain. Last month after the Earth Day run I could barely walk! So…it pays to be, um, lazy?

Yeah!

Fairy wings. Lots of tutus. Lots of knee socks. Only a few wigs.

You know what feels REALLY good? Finishing a race.

Party party party! There was music, free drinks (non-booze), snacks. I bit into a granola bar and broke my temporary crown straight out. I thought it was a particularly hard nut and threw it on the ground, only to realize my mistake moments later. WHOOPS. Back to the dentist today! Good, hopefully he’ll give me Vicodin. Fucking period cramps.

Here I am saying, “WE TALKED ABOUT THIS ANGLE.”

Covered in powder. When we got home I threw everything in the wash, except his white shirt and the white backpack, which we were hoping would have a nice tie-dyed effect after a vinegar soak. NOPE.

Would you believe I did not want a big fatty breakfast after the race? I did, however, need a vegan apple fritter from “Mighty O” donuts in Green Lake, so that’s where we went. Then a nap, then pizza, then Mother’s Day dinner at Josh’s grandparents house. So overall I would say yesterday was pretty good! And I don’t have to run again for another year. YES!

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Filed under Exercise, Seattle

by Liz | May 10, 2013

Frisky Frock Friday

Happy Frock Friday! I picked up this little number at Old Navy (shhhh–don’t tell anyone) for El Cheapo. It’s incredible comfortable and I’m a little obsessed with it, so I went back to get it in more colors and it was sold out. It is not, however, sold out online–so I bought it in blue! I had to resist buying it in that bright yellow-green color that I’m always attracted to that looks horrible on me. Someone with olive skin tones could pull it off.

Speaking of skin, mine is currently orange. I got a fake tan last night in preparation for the Color Run Sunday. I’m also thinking about getting some neon running shorts, but I’m not sure who would have them. I feel too orange to go to the gym this morning, so I think the rogs and I will just have a nice brisk walk outside. Then Corinne and I have a date to go back to the Body Shop. I bought a rose-scented hand lotion (even the salesgirl told me not to), and sure enough, HORRIBLE. I’m going to return it for the hemp, which I should have bought in the first place because I already know I like it. It has patchouli undertones and everyone knows hippies love patchouli!

What are YOU doing this weekend, blog-log? Tell me tell me tell me.

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Filed under Dressing up, Frock Friday

by Liz | May 9, 2013

Aw, Smitty

What began as a running joke–hey look! There’s a barbershop offering a 5 dollar hair cut! Har, har, and, alternatively: “Aw, Smitty” is now the barbershop that my husband actually gets his hair cut at. Yes, Smitty’s.

Just for “fun” I thought I’d post some snippets of the reviews on Yelp:

“it is pointless to get your haircut here. i dont know WHAT these people are talking about but these people do not do a good job cutting your hair.”

“Don’t go here if you want more than a buzz cut or maybe a bowl cut. we went in toward the end of the day and the lady was so unfriendly and rude. Plus hair all over the place might not be a health hazard but it was disgusting.”

“Now I look like a Marine. My advice: Be very direct and clear how much you want cut off or else…”

“This place is a health hazard. When I walked in the door there was hair from the 50 other haircuts they had done that day. It grossed me out – the blonde lady seemed nice but the other pig looked like she needed her first scotch and gin and we were just pesky customers in her way.”

THAT’S CLASS, BAY-BEE, CLASS. I just went to Michael’s and purchased a couple of wooden canvases, or “plaques” or whatever. Some stuff to paint on. I’m painting a still from “Daisies” and my rainbow platform shoes, because YES.

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