If you want it, here it is! Come and get it.

If you want it, here it is! Come and get it.

My dogs like to graze on grass like cattle. 🌾
Happy Sunday! Here is Bear Schnubs grazing on grass like a cow. Mooooo, Bear Cub.

Two goofy furry faces, waiting for me to throw the ball. 🎾
The sun just showed itself for about 45 minutes so we took the opportunity to go outside and go for walkies. And fetchies. Ugh, sorry.

Tonight we watched "Dope" (2015). Good movie, with an excellent 90s hip hop soundtrack (my fave).
“Dope” is a real cute little indie film, not for children, with a solid early 90’s hip-hop soundtrack (my favorite). Recommended!

Today. πŸ’šπŸŒΏπŸΆ
Today I am 5 weeks, 6 days pregnant. Still with the Sore Boobs from Hell. I went to Old Navy this week–the clothing, interestingly, was very “maternity-friendly”, that is to say the style of all the tops is loose and flow-y right now. Too bad everything was poorly made and flimsy. BOO OLD NAVY. I did however purchase two new sports bras–I’m a size large now! The girls are growing!

Awww...I love it when my favorite wins! #teamBob woo hooooo! πŸ’–πŸŒŸβœ¨
Bob the Drag Queen won this season of “Drag Race”! I love it when my favorite wins. Ru Paul and I are so in SYNC.

Honeysuckle in the backyard.
This is honeysuckle in the backyard. I thought it would have more of a scent.

Who's a pretty little girl?
Who’s a pretty little girl?

Chelsea Handler interviewing Gwen Stefani: two blondes I ❀️.
Two of my favorite blondes–one a singer and one a broad–Gwen Stefani on Chelsea Handler’s new show.

Hot pink trellis rose. πŸ’–
We are clearly doing something right because the rose output from all of our bushes this year is HUGE.

Sunset is such good lighting. πŸŒ…
I mean sometimes you just gotta take your top off and take sunset selfies, ya know?

New sunglasses from "Knockaround", only 10 clams! TGIF! 😎
Somewhere (on the Internet) I must have heard of “Knockaround” sunglasses–super cute and only 10 bucks! I love cheap sunglasses.

Lush. πŸ’šπŸŒΏπŸΆ
This week I walked the dogs every day except yesterday…yesterday I was glued to the couch, watching a Coen brothers marathon on the recently discovered “Viceland” channel. I watched “Barton Fink” and most of “The Big Lebowksi”, which I own, but never mind that.

Marilyn and dogfriend. ❀️
Here’s Marilyn and dogfriend.

Little pink blossom tree. 🌸
I lifted light weights on three days. I ate a LOT. I set “My Fitness Pal” to the first-trimester-recommended 1800 calories, which I am following…loosely.

You recall that my parents met at a 31 Flavors. Love of ice cream is in my blood! Can't fight it! 🍦
I sometimes don’t put everything in MFP, such as the two delicious scoops of ice cream I snarfed last night from 31 Flavors. Oh yes, followers of this blog might be proud of me for this: I HID MY SCALE. That’s a big step for me. I’m pregnant and I don’t need to weigh myself every day! NOT HEALTHY!

I love Maria Bamford. She's such a weirdo.
The lovable weirdo Maria Bamford has a new show on Netflix called “Lady Dynamite”. I like it.

These sunsets lately. Woof. πŸ’™
There have been some amazing sunset sightings out the beauty room (soon to be baby room) window lately.

Bear Cub is okay with the fact that the weather forecast was wrong today. 🌞
Here’s Bear Schnubs enjoying a little sunshine today!

I have another week of work lined up, hooray! Hurrah! And my in-laws will be visiting us at the end of the week. Perhaps Fleeta can help me visualize where in the hell I am going to put the contents of my Beauty Room…including all of my fabric and sewing stuff, all of my beauty stuff, my wigs, and my dresses. HELP!

Flowers, dogs, and snacks

Flowers, dogs, and snacks

These wild roses smell so good. 🌸
Hey-yo! It’s Monday. According to the app I check frequently to remind myself just how pregnant I am, I am currently 5 weeks and 0 days pregnant, and my little boy is the size of an orange seed.

Nature Cub. 🌿
Everyone keeps asking me how I am doing. Here’s how I am doing: TIRED.

It's a relaxing late afternoon with Tom Robbins and dog friends.
Being tired is evidently a hallmark of the first trimester; being horny is a hallmark of the second. Looking forward to that!

Today Josh texts me: "A longer ring ringer to pointer finger ratio indicates less heart disease, better sense of direction and more risk taking..." Ah ha! No wonder I have such a poor sense of direction! It's my fingers' fault. βœ‹
Josh had texted me: “A longer ring ringer to pointer finger ratio indicates less heart disease, better sense of direction and more risk taking...” Ah ha! No wonder I have such a poor sense of direction! It’s my fingers’ fault.

Seemed like a good idea at the time (maybe I don't like Swedish Fish?). 😝
GROSS. Don’t do it. I’m trying to give up gum anyway, as I am certain there isn’t a single artificial sweetener in the world that is 100% safe during pregnancy. Or even non-pregnancy, for that matter. I traded my smoking in the car habit for gum in the car, and now what am I supposed to do? Maybe I should get some hard candies. Like an old person.

Filter? We don't need no stinkin' filter. πŸ’šπŸŒΏβœ¨
Other than the tiredness and getting up to pee 3 times a night and the boobs hurting, I have no other pregnancy symptoms. In fact, I feel SO normal that yesterday morning just for funsies I took a home pregnancy test. It was positive! Of course. My first one ever.

πŸ’œ
I took a picture of it, but I can’t share it to FB or any social media. I’m not supposed to even tell ANYONE until the second trimester, YEAH RIGHT! I don’t keep secrets.

I love calla lilies.
I received a scary text at work today that Josh’s dad went to the hospital–apparently he had an angina flare-up, and he’ll be okay, but nobody likes that stuff. Poor Josh.

TGIF! Phew, it's warm today. πŸ’¦I'm not complaining. Just need a Popsicle, stat.
I took the girls for a walk immediately after work and the entire time I was fantasizing about a nap. Ohhhhh those mid-afternoon naps! Lovin’ them! Matter ‘o’ fact I have a date with my couch right after this blog entry.

Our trellis rose is really blooming! Fertilizing with eggshells WORKS.
Behold the power of fertilizing with eggshells! Three times as many roses as last year!

Trail Cub. 🐢
Last week was really hot and sunny, but the last couple of days it’s cooled down again. I just wore a long-sleeved shirt, pants, and a long-sleeved fleece jacket on our dog walk. Spring weather here is unpredictable.

πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š
I’m trying to remember what I did this past weekend and it’s not adding up to a hell of a lot. Support group on Saturday–we’re meeting at people’s houses now, instead of at the clinic. I ate a LOT. Then…napping, watching movies, eating a lot of pizza-flavored Pringles? This isn’t making for interesting blog fodder!

I want so badly to like "Inherent Vice". Siiiiighhhhh...
I love Paul Thomas Anderson (“Boogie Nights”, “Magnolia”) and I really WANT to love “Inherent Vice”…I tried reading the book last year and failed miserably, but ahHhHHHhhHH this movie is about as difficult to decipher as the second season of “True Detective”. Oy vey. Maybe a second viewing would help.

My mother has been sending me a lot of pictures like this lately. She gets me. 🐢
My mother has been sending me animal photos and videos lately up the wazoo. This one was a favorite. Maw!

Currently watching: "The Out List". Really good. 🌈
I watched another PBS Masters documentary: “The Out List”. It’s really good.

Misty family walk today. πŸ’¦
A misty rainy drizzly family walk yesterday.

Dorks walking in the rain today. Brrrr. β˜”οΈ
Dorks in the rain!

"Great painters may sulk when a show isn't a hit, but they don't fold. They make better, more ambitious paintings." Hell yeah E. Jean! 🎨
More good advice from E. Jean.

Wearing orange today. What color lips go with orange? Pink it is.
Maybe orange IS a good color for me. Note to self: wear more orange.

Salmonberries.
Salmonberries have started popping up on our walks. I made the mistake of putting a not-quite-ripe one in my maw. Yuck!

Oh yeah baby 🍫
YES, I HEAR YOU, COME TO ME, MMMMMmmmmmMMMM.

That’s all for now! If you’ll excuse me, the couch is a’callin’.

A chocolate factory, good news, and delicious foodstuffs

A chocolate factory, good news, and delicious foodstuffs

A couple of dorks touring a chocolate factory for funsies.
Hey dudes! Look at these dorks touring the Theo Chocolate Factory in Fremont last Saturday. Nice hair nets!

Saturday morning we drove into Seattle to the clinic for my “beta” blood test–the first test to determine whether or not I am REALLY pregnant. I knew I was REALLY pregnant because my boobs feel like they are going to fall off at any given moment, they hurt so much, but still–verification was necessary!

@djmagicelf and his furry friend. πŸ›
Then we fooled around with wildlife outside the factory, waiting for the tour to start at 11 o’clock. A few different people had told me about this tour, and for 10 dollars we figured it would be a nice distraction, waiting to find out the results of my blood test.

Recommended: for 10 clams you can tour the Theo chocolate factory in Fremont. Delicious samples! 🍫
And even though I was praying for a positive test 95% of the time we were on the tour, it WAS a pleasant experience! For the first hour, you sit in a nice breezy green room and get fed samples of chocolate while you learn all about Theo’s “bean to bar” process.

You can't tell because of the reflection off the glass, but that's the chocolate pipeline at Theo's Chocolate Factory. Mmmmm.
After 30 minutes, you get to actually go inside the factory, where you get to see the actual “Chocolate Pipeline”! Just like in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”! The tour ends in the kitchen, where you snarf delicious samples of ganache. Mmmmmmm.

We stopped at the gift shop on the way out (you get a discount for participating in the tour) and were just about to pay when my phone rang! I yanked it out of my purse and ran for the door of the gift shop (distressing my husband, who thought I was doing a runner) and was actually SO excited, I hung up on clinic! Roops! Luckily they called me right back with the BEST NEWS EVER: I’M PREGNANT!

Lunch at Roxy's in Fremont today. Psychedelic murals and glitter vinyl galore...dreamy. The BLT and cheese blintzes we split were damn good too.
So we sat in the car and happily cried and then I texted everyone and then my mother called me and we both cried over the phone and then we went to Roxy’s Diner in Fremont and split a BLT and cheese blintzes. Holy schmoly, HIGHLY recommended.Β 

Ali Wong is hilarious, and who looks this cute 7 months pregnant?
Also recommended: Ali Wong’s “Baby Cobra”, as long as you don’t mind raunchy humor. She’s 7 and a half months pregnant during this stand-up routine, and when do you ever hear about progesterone suppositories in stand-up, eh? Talk about timely. Also she’s really cute.

This rhody in the front yard is looking lush πŸ’–
I had to go back to the clinic yesterday morning for a follow-up blood test to measure the hcg, and also check my thyroid. Luckily I got called in to my old job, so I was distracted for hours before I received the phone call in the afternoon. My hcg levels look great (!!!), but my thyroid is borderline, and I “shouldn’t worry about it.” Alrighty then. Here’s me not worrying about it.

Another gorgeous afternoon at Marymoor Park.
Now I don’t have any more tests until the very important First Ultrasound at the end of this month, which will be done by my actual doctor, which will be nice, because I haven’t seen her in a while.

Wet dogs + sunshine = Bliss. 🌈
Meanwhile I’m supposed to start looking for an OB! Oh Boy!

Pretty sure we've already gone to Marymoor more times this year than any other...oh it's gonna be a hot summer in Seattle! πŸ’¦
I have worked lined up for the rest of the month, which is wonderful.

Musical entertainment at Kama'aina Grindz. I had been wanting to try their Hawaiian food for over a year, and it did not disappoint. Mmmm. 🌺
Also wonderful: the Hawaiian food we snarfed Friday night at Kama’aina Grindz, a restaurant in Everett I’d been wanting to try for…oh, a year and a half or so.

"New" purse (thanks eBay) by Lily Bloom. Bonus: lots of compartments. But will I remember what I put in them?
It was time to surrender my big ass heavy leather Fossil purse for something lightweight for spring/summer. I discovered the “Lily Bloom” line and scored this little guy on eBay for less than 30 clams. Their entire line is made from recycled materials, and ADORABLE.

Cool sunset tonight. πŸ’™
I can tell you that this sunset was far more beautiful in real life than in this photo. I should have used the camera. Speaking of the camera, I need to start documenting my naked pregnant body. I thought the transformation might be “fun” to look at later on. Ha! Ha! NOT ON THIS BLOG, DON’T WORRY MOM.Β 

"Moonwalkers": set in the psychedelic 60s, with a plot centering around the Kubrick moon landing conspiracy AND starring Ron Perlman, how could I not watch it? Odd and enjoyable.
“Moonwalkers” is a weird little indie film but you should watch it if you enjoy: 1. movies set in the psychedelic 60’s 2. anything about Stanley Kubrick 3. conspiracy theories about the moon landing and/or 4. Ron Perlman. It has them all!

Yesterday (it was much warmer). LaCroix, sweetie. Darling. That reminds me, I can't wait to see the "Ab Fab" movie!
LaCroix, sweetie. I always think I’m going to like flavored seltzer water and then I never do. Harrumph.

I made a furry friend at grandma's house. 😺
Sunday was Mother’s Day so we went to Josh’s grandmother’s house for BBQ. The house kitty was loving all over me.

“Feel free to take her home,” they offered, but I declined.

Grandma's purple rhody's are gorg. πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ
Gorgeous deep purple rhodies outside grandma’s house. She promised to give me starts for mini irises next time.

A gorgeous May afternoon. 🌾
Today I am going to the library to get some “fun” pregnancy books (I have a few from 43252352 years ago when I first started trying to get pregnant but they are not fun). I need to work on Corinne’s last cat painting. Painting white fur is giving me fits.

Oh well, it's a daisy age 🌸
What else? Walk the dogs. Lift some weights. Find out if it’s time for the finale of “Drag Race”–I doubt it, Ru usually draaaaaaaags the finale out, to make us SUFFER.

Field of dogs.
Have a nice week, blog-logs!

Springtime is the best time

Springtime is the best time

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

Welp, the post from Instagram directly to Flickr function appears to not be working today…I tried restarting my computer AND phone, no dice. So I am using the embedding directly from Instagram function instead. Huh? Hi!

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

So it’s been nearly a week since my transfer! I’ve been taking it pretty easy. Walking the dogs every day, but no running. One (really pathetic) day of lifting (five pound) weights. I didn’t want to do anything too strenuous the week after transfer…just to be on the safe side.

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

Still feeling kind of crampy, but that’s a progesterone side effect. One feeling I’m having though that has GOT to be a pregnancy symptom is my boobs are KILLING ME. Giant and sore. SO SORE. They’re often sore before my period, but not this bad. Gotta be pregnancy.

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

Look at Spring Cub all covered with pollen! Awwwwww!

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

No weight gain yet…I know it’s only the first week, but my body! This terrible metabolism! I just LOOK at a grilled cheese sandwich and gain three pounds, sweetie darling sweetie. I’ve been eating a lot of black olives, which are inexplicably delicious right now. Yesterday I discovered that stuffing whipped cream cheese into black olives is even better. Mmmmm.

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In “Drag Race” news, we are down to the final three: Kim Chi, Bob the Drag Queen (one of my early-on faves), and Naomi Smalls, who looked fabbuu in her final runway ensemble this week. I have a feeling that she’s going to win, just based on Ru Paul’s look of sheer delight every time she opens her mouth. Just sayin’.

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

Unfortunately I haven’t worked this week, but I do have work lined up for tomorrow so that’s something. I would have liked to work! Work would help take my mind off my impending pregnancy test this Saturday, oy vey. Luckily I booked us a tour at the chocolate factory right after the test. That should be distracting.

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I’m painting a little. Napping every afternoon–except yesterday, when I horribly re-discovered the Bravo channel and spent two hours watching those awful “Housewives” during naptime–mistake! Mistake!

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

True dat.

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

Today I am going to go pick up some progesterone suppositories off of some lady’s porch in Kirkland. You see, throughout this whole IVF process you have to order hundreds of dollars of meds, and a lot of times you end up with an overflow of meds, but you can’t return them, so sometimes nice people will donate their leftover meds to you, and you save some money! Woo hoo!

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

Monday I reeeeeeally didn’t mind not working because it was in the 80’s. Mmmm hmmmmm. I laid out on the back patio (under the awning, no need for direct sunlight on this cancer-prone epidermis) with shorts and a bikini top on. I thought my legs looked unusually sexy so I snapped this pic. My husband the asshole accused me of photoshopping my thighs to look thinner.

“I would TELL you if I photoshopped them,” I sniffed indignantly. I didn’t even photoshop the moles out! ALL NATURAL! It’s a good angle.

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

I always photoshop zits out. Come on, nobody wants to see that. Especially me.

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

I snapped these irises outside a burger joint. Pretty pretty!

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

The dog park wasn’t very popular on Monday! This picture doesn’t show the cottonwood flying through the air like snow.

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I found my “Hippie Dude” painting languishing in Josh’s closet. He belongs on the wall!

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

Maybe today we’ll go on an extra long walk. Like…a mile and a half! Ha ha.

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

Sunday afternoon Joshy and the Broad and I went to the movies to see “Keanu”, which I had wanted to see ever since I saw the first preview. It did not disappoint! Hilarious!

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“Vogue” magazine celebrates 100 years of publication with a 100-year-old model! Woo hoo!

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Splash! I wonder if the smell of musty wet dogs will be a problem for me in a few weeks?

A photo posted by EP Holcomb (@artwaif) on

That’s all, folks! Join me next time to hear all about my pregnancy test. And the chocolate factory!

Adventures in FET

Adventures in FET

#TBT to the Neukom Vivarium...everything inside is my favorite color: green! πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š
Hey-yo! Ready to hear about my frozen embryo transfer (FET)? Of COURSE you are…why else would you be here?

Post-work forest exploration with my furry friends 🌿
Well…it was easy. The most difficult part was having to fill and maintain a full bladder long enough for the transfer to take place, since your bladder needs to be full to show everything properly on the ultrasound. They suggest 24-36 ounces, so I filled up my biggest water bottle up to 24 ounces and started to drink it about 30 minutes before the procedure was to take place. They “claim” that liquid takes 40 minutes to hit your bladder. I suspect it’s less than that for me.

Roses from Joshy. 🌹
I drank 3/4ths of it, the technician came in and pronounced my bladder “halfway there”. Drat! I finished off the bottle. Meanwhile, I was stuck all over with acupuncture needles like a porcupine. Josh took an assortment of deeply unflattering photos, none of which I deemed worthy to post. I was wearing thick REI socks (warm feet, warm uterus, they say), my fattest fat pants, and my “I DON’T DO EARTH TONES” tee-shirt. No make-up, no perfume, nothing scented at all…apparently embryos don’t like fragrance!

It's Friday! 🌲
The embryologist came in with a photo of our little frozen embryo, which I thought was hysterical (and unexpected). She was really excited about the quality, which she told us all about in lengthy medical terms. She said he was better than textbook! Awwwwriiiiite! I told Josh to text the photo to my mother, just for kicks. Then yesterday I texted my father the picture too. “Here’s a picture of your grandson” I wrote.

Looking forward to this kind of weather again. 🌞
My bladder was feeling very full by the time the acupuncturist pulled the needles out, and when the technician pressed the ultrasound wand on my bladder again it was THERE. The doc showed up–I had never met him before but he seemed like a nice fellow–he did a “test run” with an empty catheter to make sure that everything was a go, and then the embryologist sucked our little embryo up into a catheter tube, the tube went inside me, and then the embryo was inside me!

Maggie and Bear Cub blending in with nature. 🌿
You have the “fun” of observing all of this on a giant tv screen on the wall, but it’s not as much fun because your bladder is SO FULL. The moment I had the OK I sprang off the table and ran to the bathroom. Without the acupuncture before (and also after), the entire transfer took 10 minutes, tops. Easy peasy.

For two or three days post-transfer you are advised to “take it easy”–not strictly bedrest, per say…but no running, vigorous exercise. No hot baths (I haven’t taken a bath in years, that wasn’t a problem). I had scoured the Internet for more tips going into this thing, such as wearing warm socks for a few days afterwards, eating pineapple core and Brazil nuts (both aide the implantation), no cold drinks or foods, no caffeine (duh), even no dairy, because dairy makes your uterus “slippery” and you want it to be “sticky”.

More progress on cat painting number two. 😺
The first day post-transfer I mostly just stayed on the couch. The second day I moved around the house, painted a little, did laundry and the usual house chores (okay just laundry), sat outside and read on the back patio with a blanket over my legs like an elderly woman. Yesterday I took the dogs for a nice slow easy walk at the dog park. Baby steps.

#TBT to Susanne Bartsch's "Fashion Underground" exhibit at FIT, NYC Fall of 2015. This was one of my favorite looks. πŸ’–
Flashback to the “Fashion Underground” exhibit in NYC last year, one of my favorite outfits.

So how do I feel? Exactly the same. It’s not like morning sickness hits right away–it takes weeks to develop, and maybe for me it never will. They say with boy babies you are less likely to have it. I’ve got highhhhh hopes!

Deepak Chopra on "The Boomer List". I like to watch documentaries while I paint.
Deepak Chopra in an interesting documentary about influential baby boomers.

The only side effects I’m having are from the progesterone suppositories I started taking twice a day a week ago. Unfortunately, you have to continue taking them for 10-12 weeks (!), and they do make me feel a little crampy. What else is new?

On the radio recently I heard of a study that proves dogs don't really like to be hugged...but I don't care!
A study done recently apparently has proven that dogs don’t really like to be hugged by humans…but I’M NOT LISTENING!

Brunette Norma Jean and dog. 🌟
Look, it’s brunette Norma Jean aka Marilyn Monroe, with a dog. Arf arf.

Two kitty paintings down, one to go. 😺😸
I have now (more or less) completed two of the Broad’s cat paintings, and am ready to move on to the final one. “You must really love my kitties if you’re finishing the paintings this fast!” she teased me over the phone yesterday. Of COURSE that’s the reason! Also: the canvas size is small. Also: I am eager to start a big project for the guest room. I think we’re going to see “Keanu” with the Broad later today, matter of fact. The preview looks hilarious!

Just met the most adorable fluffy black Pomeranian at the dog park--a little version of Bear Cub! 😍
Yesterday at the dog park we met this adorable fluffy black Pomeranian who looked like a tiny version of Bear Cub! I was DYING!

Spin spin sugar. πŸ’–
It was good to get out of the house yesterday. “Bed rest” isn’t a lot of fun when you feel just fine!

Hey #orchid lovers, tell me the truth: any chance this guy is gonna come back?
I posted our sad orchid on IG to ask the orchid lovers if there was any hope for it. “Leave it alone, mine looked like that!” someone wrote helpfully. Oh good.

I have long πŸ’š Tom Robbins. I'm so glad Josh and I saw his final public appearance at Bumbershoot.
Reading Tom Robbins on the back patio with Maggie dog lurking in the background. I love ya, Tom Robbins.

So now we get to play the Waiting Game, waiting for my next appointment at the clinic for a blood test to verify that baby is, in fact, still on board. That will take place this Saturday. Unlike a home pregnancy test (which they discourage you from taking this early in the game), you have to get your blood drawn, and then wait a couple of HOURS before you know if you’re actually pregnant! Yarg! I told Josh that we needed to do something fun, and distracting. Like maybe visit that chocolate factory in Fremont I’ve heard so much about! Mmmmmm, chocolate.

Oh baby baby!

Oh baby baby!

Unexpected sunshine + unexpected good hair day.
Hi kids. Here we are, on the eve of my very first IVF transfer. Can you believe it?! What a loooooong-ass journey it’s been!

Everything is so green. πŸ’š
Went off the Pill in 2009; started the pill in 1997. 1997!!! OVER TEN YEARS of making damn sure I took that Pill every night. Obsessive about condom use (bonus: never had any STDs).

Love these tiny neon purple wild flowers. πŸ’œ
Started going to fertility doctors in…2012? 2011? Who can even remember any more. Diagnosed husband with decreased motility. Never diagnosed me with anything, except a couple of uterine polyps this year, which were quickly removed.

This bright yellow and red Scotch Broom is fun. πŸ’›β€οΈ
Six rounds of Clomid. Three IUIs. And now…two frozen embryos that passed all of the rigorous testing we paid extra for. Two boys!

Scotch Broom everywhere! πŸ’›
One of those boys will be transferred into my bod, tomorrow afternoon. I will have acupuncture before, and after the transfer (which is only supposed to take 10 minutes–it is mercifully short and sweet).

Sun's out! 🌞
Then I have 48 hours of enforced “bed” rest (more like couch rest), which…I am kind of looking forward to. I have been commuting hither and thither for work the last couple of weeks (which has been a blessing! Don’t get me wrong!). But a couple of days NOT commuting two hours on the I5 will be awfully nice. Josh is taking the day off from work tomorrow, to drive me to the appointment and back home.

Fluffy, not stuffy. 🌲
And then for the rest of the day I can boss him around! YES! MY FAVORITE!

Had a nice windy-and-slightly-rainy stroll around Bellevue today with @idahoagogo 🌸
Friday after my ultrasound appointment, I met up with my old old old friend Christy at the Bellevue Mall. Neither one of us really wanted to go to the mall, but I really wanted to look at some girly perfume-y things and the closest Sephora was at the mall. Heigh ho!

Waterfall fountain near Bellevue Square.
Neither one of us bought anything at Sephora, amazingly. I used up my gift card already and couldn’t bring myself to pay 50 clams for the grapefruit perfume by “Fresh” that I really really really want.

Fountain near Bellevue Square. There was a fashion shoot happening nearby; I felt sorry for the model (it was cold today!).
We bought some overpriced mall food (I paid 12 bucks for a tiny Cobb salad) and then it was my idea to wander across the street to a nice-looking park, where we strolled around and gabbed. Christy is freshly married, freshly diagnosed with a thyroid issue and is ready to be freshly pregnant this year too, just like me. We are both old ladies.

Happy to see that the fern in the backyard that the dogs trampled last year has come back πŸ’š
I teased her that she’ll probably get pregnant as soon as she starts trying, but who can say? You never know with these things. The wonders of the human body.

On this week's episode of #rupaulsdragrace I was sad to see Thorgy go...but Derrick Barry's video with Bob the Drag Queen was hysterical! I love this show.
My sentimental fave on this season of “Drag Race”, Thorgy Thor, was kicked off last week! Good thing my OTHER fave Bob the Drag Queen is still going strong.

Okay, you guys. Both Amy and David Sedaris as guest judges, with a Jerri Blank musical??! It's like all of my favorite things on ONE SHOW! I'm feeling verklempt! 😍
Speaking of which, this week’s episode was one of my favorites in “Drag Race” HERstory…David AND Amy Sedaris as guest judges, a musical where all the queens had to dress up as Jerri Blank (!!!) AND THEN everyone got to watch Bob lip sync to Sylvester’s “Mighty Real”! I tell ya, the tears of joy were just about springing to ma eyes! Just about.

Currently watching: "Respectable: The Mary Millington Story". πŸ’‹
Also recently watched: “Respectable: The Mary Millington Story”, about a pint-sized porn star from the UK and her tragic demise. These fertility hormones are doing weird things to me, friends! I’m following Mickey Avalon on Twitter! What???

Ohhhh it's a sad day, friends, because this is my last cup of coffee (for a while). Oh coffee! I will miss you MOST first thing in the morning! And also in the late afternoon. Okay, all the time. Sigh.
Here I am on Sunday pouting over my last full cup of REAL coffee. Mind you, I’ve had a little decaf since then, but ohhhhh coffeeeeee I miss you soooooooo. I’ll probably end up deleting this off of my IG. Triggering!Β 

Josh blows out the glitter candles on the birthday cupcakes I (re-) made today. πŸŽ‚
Sunday I re-made Josh’sΒ birthdayΒ cupcakes with yellow butter cake mix AND buttercream frosting AND piled them high with green and blue sprinkles (and glitter candles too) and everyone at his work loved them. Success!

Awww baby French and Saunders! Aren't they cute?! From Jennifer's memoir "Bonkers".
Recently completed book: “Bonkers”, Jennifer Saunders’ memoir. A little dry, but ya know. Still love you, Jennifer. “French and Saunders, doo doo doo dee doooo…”

My portrait of Brigitte Bardot, 2010. NFS. Well...maybe for sale. I'm open to negotiation!
Recently I received one of those scammy e-mails where someone offers to buy a bunch of my paintings but they really just want to steal all my monies. REPORTED! Losers.

Tromping through a filthy mud puddle makes them so happy! πŸ’¦
Currently a couple of damp dogs are snoozing at my feet as I type this. Our once-a-month housekeeper is over, cleaning. I requested her early. I wanted a nice clean house to relax in tomorrow. Who can relax in a dirty, fur-covered house? Not me, Hank McGee.

Josh's deep red tulips in the front yard. Pretty pretty.
Some deep purple-red tulips Joshy planted in the front yard. Niiiiice.

Love these neon purple "Bachelor's Buttons".
Love these neon purple “Bachelor’s Buttons”, too.

Sculpture spotting on my way to work this morning.
One perk of working downtown: art spotting while sitting in gridlock traffic.

Currently reading: Lena Dunham's "Not That Kind of Girl". The illustrations are cute.
Currently reading: “Not That Kind of Girl”, by Lena Dunham. I suspect I would have liked it a lot better if I was, say, 16, but I’m not sorry I’m reading it now. The illustrations are cute.

Our new neighbors are methodically ripping up all the grass in their front yard and replacing it with dirt and flowers spaced at perfect, OCD intervals. It's...unconventional. Could be worse, I suppose. Could be rocks! Or wood chips!
Our new neighbors are methodically tearing up all the grass in their front yard, and replacing it with dirt and evenly-spaced clumps of flowers. Oh, it’s a “look”, alright. Could be worse, I suppose. Could be wood chips! Or rocks!

Hey! Just think, the next time I blog I might be knocked up! Catch yer later, blog-logs! And send happy baby vibes my way, please.

Hot weather, a nice view and birthday shenanigans

Hot weather, a nice view and birthday shenanigans

Josh invited me to go skiing with him on this balmy beautiful sunny day...ha! 😝
Hey blerg, what’s happening? It’s Friday. Let’s take a break from the endless tweets and articles about the passing of Prince and look at some nature and dogs, hmmm?

85 degrees today, in Seattle, in April...day-YAM global warming! What's up?
I worked this week, and the weather was HOT. Like, 86-degrees-on-Monday-hot. So hot, that when I took the dogs for a walk in the afternooon after work (pictured here), we didn’t last long. Even with shade breaks!

Bear Cub keeping cool in a little stream. πŸ’¦
So hot that my furry little Bear Cub (who probably needs a spring fur cut right about now) flopped down into a little stream to cool off.

πŸ’š
I commuted all week, which gave me loooots of tiiiiiiime on the I5. Man, am I sick of driving on the I5. I feel sorry for people who have to do that drive every day, five days a week, endlessly.

Little kid art at the Schack Art Center. I love his use of color! πŸ’–
Little kid art from last month’s trip to the Schack Art Center. I love his use of neon!

Our rhubarb plant is huge this year! I cut off several stalks a few weeks ago and Josh made a pie last night, with strawberries. Mmmm.
The rhubarb plant, still looking GIANT after I hacked off many stalks. Looks like I need to start Googling rhubarb recipes, eh?

Happy Bear Cub! 🌲
I purposely took today off from work because I have another ultrasound appointment at 10 this morning. This ultrasound will determine the date of my FET, which will be sometime next week. My boss has been throwing more jobs my way, but I told her I would have to get back to her after I find out when my FET is. I don’t want to work on the day of my transfer! Silly.

Flowers + dogs + sunshine = my kind of afternoon 🌞
The ladies in my support group were surprised that I wanted to work at all the week of my transfer, but why not? Work up until it happens, that is. I will probably take a week off afterwards…maybe. It all depends on how I feel. I hope I feel GREAT!

The thermostat/my dress might say "summer"...but my itchy eyeballs know that it's still spring. πŸ’¦
Tuesday (mid-80’s weather, and glorious) night’s outfit. I bought that dress in February, the week that I was doing all the hormone shots and my belly swelled like with child. I bought it from Modcloth. Was it overpriced? Absolutely!

It's been so weirdly warm the last two days, I spotted this paddleboard dude downtown and wasn't too surprised. πŸ’¦
Sitting in my car talking to Joshy before my support group started Tuesday night, this dude walked right past me (twice). Awww, a paddleboard! Reminds me of Hawaii!

I don't care what anyone says, I love "Dark Shadows" and it reminds me of old school Tim Burton and the soundtrack is great.
Recently re-watched: Tim Burton’s “Dark Shadows”. I loved it. It reminds me of old Tim Burton, and it takes place in 1972 so it has a great soundtrack. Recommended!

Another beautiful afternoon. πŸ’™
The commute may have been terrible, but one perk of the job I had this week was a fantastic view of Seattle. You can just make out the hazy outline of Mount Rainier in the background.

Loooove πŸ’–
The building I worked at had an amazing greenhouse, too. I love these colorful bromeliad plants.

"New" (thanks eBay) Brooks trail running shoes. I didn't expect the sides to be silver and glittery...score! ✨✨✨
After my first trail run last weekend, I decided I should probably buy some actual trail running shoes, since my “barefoot” running shoes don’t work so well for gravel and rocks. On eBay I scored these Brooks trail running shoes in my size for cheap, and! Special bonus! The sides are silver and glittery! Ooooooh.

Reading Erma Bombeck in the sunshine...gee, I feel like a teenager again. 🌞
Reading Erma Bombeck in the sunshine this week gave me a powerful blast of teenage nostalgia. In a good way!

Bear Cub havin' fun in the sun. 🐢
Aw, little Bear Cub enjoying the sunshine.

πŸŒ²πŸ’›πŸŒΏ
So many nature walkies.

Yesterday was my old man’s birthday, and things did not go smoothly. First, he requested vanilla cupcakes with homemade buttercream frosting–simple enough. Except that I realized 10 minutes into the baking of said cupcakes that I had forgotten to add EGGS to the mix. Good grief, self! The only ingredients you have to add to a BOX MIX are water, oil, and eggs! The cupcakes turned out sad, flat, and weird-tasting. Cupcakes foiled.

Next, I went to take my contacts out, re-lube them up and insert them back into my eyeballs (there’s a lot of pollen in the air these days), and somehow I got a long dog hair IN MY EYEBALL and then my left contact SHATTERED WHILE IN MY EYE. Yeah. A soft contact. What??? How??? I managed to pull the fragments of contact out of my eye right about the time that my husband was arriving home from work, so he got to witness that painful spectacle. Siiiiigh.

Went against tradition (dog cards) and got him a glitter card and a donut card for his birthday. Also pictured: saline solution, because I somehow got a dog hair in my eyeball and shattered my contact right before this picture. Ohhhh it's one of those day
Instead of dog cards this year, I bought him a glitter card and a donut card (pictured: the pink vial of saline I kept squirting into my poor eye at regular intervals). For presents I bought him an altimeter, new watch and three books.

The healthiest sushi dinner I've ever ordered...miso soup, salad, and a big ass platter of sashimi. Mmmm.
Then we went out and had the healthiest sushi dinner ever: just miso soup, a salad, and sashimi. No rice, even! (I think the waitress forgot, and we were too busy shoveling sashimi in our maws to ask)

Dinner was so healthy, we had to balance it out. 🍦
The dinner was so healthy, we had to go to 31 Flavors afterwards to make up for it. The birthday boy ran several miles yesterday morning and treated himself to a banana split; I ran zero miles yesterday morning and had a single scoop of chocolate mousse royale, mmmmm.

Today it is rainy and grey, but my yard is going to enjoy the moisture. After my appointment this morning I have a Girl Date with Christy…not sure what that’s going to involve, but hopefully brunch! I love brunch. Catch yer later.