Category Archives: Weirdness

Halloween, Old Skool style

Halloween, Old Skool style

this old woman is friendly
Heyyyyyyo! Happy Day-After-Halloween. I have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad cold, but yesterday morning I drank a couple cups of coffee and willed myself to dress up and go to one of my two jobs. It was bad enough that I missed Pride earlier this year because of female trouble, but to miss Halloween too? And on a Friday, no less? Inconceivable.

old man drinking a Natty Ice
Unfortunately, my Old Man’s work decided to dress up the day before Halloween (?), so were were dressed up on different days. Josh stayed in character all day at work, including using an Old Man voice. Apparently he was so good he fooled one of his co-workers, who thought he was a visiting family member. Ha!

old woman shows off her pettipants
As for me, well, I fooled plenty of people as well. Reactions varied from hysterical laughter to having no idea who I was, which was exactly what I wanted. Being genuinely sick helped too–I really WAS leaning heavily on my cane. I wore a thrifted cardigan, muumuu and old orthopedic shoes, and it was Josh’s suggestion to add the thigh-high compression socks (which started sliding down around 2 pm–I’ve never had good luck with thigh-high stockings). I also threw on a pair of pettipants, and some of my grandmother’s jewelry.

old man watching telly
Dedicated to his Old Man drag, Josh stayed in costume all day Thursday. Note the piles of cardboard boxes behind him. Oh yeah. Getting close!

old woman winks
Crazy old broad! I stayed in my Old Lady drag all day yesterday, just in case my neighbor changed his mind and decided to invite us over to his party after all. Turns out, it wasn’t loud at all (we even briefly went into the backyard at one point to listen closer). And here we thought he was going to have an ecstasy-soaked RAVE PARTY! Kids are so boring these days.

old man gives me a grin
Not a single trick-or-treater came to our door, as per usual (we’ve had one in the 5 years we’ve lived at this house). So we sat on the couch and ingested the contents of a “fun” sized bag of candy and watched the 3 hour marathon that is “It”, 1990, which Josh hadn’t seen before.

It
One of Stephen King’s best books, if you can plow through the 534573487 pages it entails. I remember I was too young to watch the tv miniseries when it came out, but what I “sneak” watched scared the crap out of me. Even now, as an old old old old old old woman (heh), Tim Curry is totally terrifying. IMDB says the cast stayed away from him during shooting, and who can blame them? Nightmares! Nightmares!

Being sick is the perfect time to take stock of one’s internet presence, and I decided it was time to get rid of some of mine. To that end, I deleted:

– my pettipants store (too busy with work now, and I’d rather focus on painting)
– my old vegan recipes blog (vegan, schmeegan)
– my old “art waif” blog (from the mid-2000’s, I’m not going back to Blogger)
– my old “thewhocaresgirl” blog (see above)
– my Tumblr account (pretty good following there but I don’t care about Tumblr).

I’ve been on Twitter for 2 years now, only joined as an experiment, and I might quit it too, who knows. I still enjoy using it as a platform to get more of my art exposed, which is why I’ve kept it. No desire to quit Instagram, it’s probably my favorite right now. And of course this blog, which I consider deleting at least 4 times a year but never follow through, because I STILL LOVE YOU BLOG. Besides, how would I ever remember anything?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just be coughing out my guts and blowing snot out of my nose all weekend. And maybe a little packing. Oof.

Scary Movie Month Reviews: “House” (the insane 1977 version)

Scary Movie Month Reviews: “House” (the insane 1977 version)

house 1977
I found myself riddled with PMS this weekend, glued to the couch where I was simultaneously skimming feminist (cough) blogs, layering glitter polish over my chipped glitter polished nails, AND making my way through a horrible early David Lynch short film (the longest 34 minutes of my life) when “House”, the 1977 Japanese version, popped up under suggestions to watch next. Oh Hulu! You so cray!

THIS MOVIE IS INSANE. The basic film premise is about a schoolgirl traveling with her six classmates to her sick aunt’s country home…where things suddenly take a turn for the Weird. One by one the girls are killed off by a supernatural force. This movie, a ‘la Stefon, Has Everything: a piano that eats girls! A blood-spewing pussy (I mean, painting of a cat!)! Dancing skeletons! And about a billion other oddities that really have to be, um, “experienced”.

According to the Wide Wide World of Webs: “...the director fashioned the script after the eccentric musings of his eleven-year-old daughter, then employed all the tricks in his analog arsenal (mattes, animation, and collage) to make them a visually astonishing, raucous reality.”

Yup. This puppy was made in 1977, but not even released to North America until 2010! I think maybe we needed that long to process it. I know that I might have to watch it again…way too much to take in one viewing!

Scary: 3 out of 10. Maybe. This movie is too weird to be scary. NOT FOR CHILDREN THOUGH.
Gory: 7 out of 10. Lots and lots of gore.
Boring: 0 out of 10. NO WAY you can be bored by this film!

Hello blog here we are again! I’m all riddled up on late afternoon coffee and Midol. Joshy is out for one of his “Gonzo Abusive” runs. I’m about to start packing some more things in boxes. I realize photos on this blog have been few and far between but believe you me, once we move over to the New House it’s gonna be full of photos all over again! Photos of the New House, of course!

Polyester madness and a new look

Polyester madness and a new look

neon dress blur
Ta dah! The vintage neon polyester dress I just couldn’t bear to put back on the rack at the Goodwill. Sure, sure…thoughts whizzed through my head like: “It’s not practical” “You’ll never wear it” and “Polyester doesn’t breathe“, but could I really not take home such an obvious example of a Liz Dress? NO WAY. I washed it and then threw it on to show Josh.

“Put on the rainbow platforms!” he encouraged me, but I put on my hideous 90’s platform sneakers instead, which clashed incredibly with the yellow hiking socks I happened to be wearing at the time. He took about 10 shots of me dancing around like a maniac, which will not be posted here. Because, ahem. Just because.

Of course, things didn’t really take off until I pulled out the black light…
neon dress under black light
…because neon clothing is infinitely more exciting under a black light, isn’t it? You can take the girl out of the rave, but you can never take the rave out of the girl!

neon dress with mystery hands
Hey, where’d those hands come from? Bonus: I made a 10 second video of myself bobbling around lewdly in the dress while Josh provides the beatboxing soundtrack, and had the nerve to post it on Instagram, so here’s that, if you enjoy that sort of thing. I DO!

You may have noticed that my blog appearance has changed. I have been wanting, for a very very long time, to use a wordpress theme that allows me to post larger photos, and this was one of the (free) ones that had that option. I’m not crazy about the background–I like the design on the top but hate the background color–it’s an earth tone, for cry yi! So that may change. Also I think the font size for reading is a tad small, but I just read you have to pay an additional 30 dollars a year to change it (!), so if that’s the case…NOPE. I’m already paying my blog host money for the “pleasure” of having my own .com, and I pay Flickr every year to have an account, so…that’s enough money for this ol’ thing.

Today I’ll be enjoying my last day of freedom before going back to work tomorrow. The sun’s shining, so it looks like dogs + park will be enjoyable. Plus, I re-did the entire Phyllis Diller painting, and it’s going to be 10,000 times better. Yeah!

Wiggish Wednesday

Wiggish Wednesday

neon wig sideeye
Hola, blerg-smergers. The weather today is soooooo niiiiiiice. A pleasant surprise, considering the forecast consisted of several squiggly grey lines. I forced myself to go the gym this morning (worth it), and then didn’t have to force myself at all to take my dogfriends to the park to play. I love fall days like this! I feel so…invigorated.

nightmarish
Welcome to your nightmares. Josh took multiple creepy self-portraits and posted them all over Instagram and Facebook, earning the praise of NO ONE. Except me, of course, because I like to be grossed out. Speaking of gross and creepy things, I’ve spent the last week (not working, obviously) watching Season 2 of “American Horror Story”, and it is SO GOOD! Perfect for this time of year, too. I highly recommend you watch it…if you enjoy being scared/creeped out/grossed out. Jessica Lange is a damn good actress.

neon wig on wig head
We had plans to go to a haunted house tonight but I moved them to next Wednesday, considering I woke up to Josh hacking his lungs out in the shower for about 15 solid minutes. Gross. He wasn’t too sick to go to the movies with me last night, however…we saw “Gravity”. Overrated, although we both like that Sandy Bullock (who remembers “Love Potion Number 9“?) and her tight little physique did inspire me to go back to the gym today, so there’s that.

vision board (in progress)
Here’s my vision board in progress, inspired by a horrible cold, and abundance of neon poster board/old fashion magazines. I’ve started (gulp!) recycling some of my old fashion magazines…after I go through them meticulously and make sure I pull out items to add to my multiple inspiration notebooks. It’s so haaaaard…to say good-byeeeeee…to yesterdaaaaaaaay.

Blog hits up but comments down? What’s up with that. Hi.

Camel wha?

Camel wha?


Well, here you have it, kids, “Prancercise”, starring probably the largest and most obvious camel toe I’ve ever seen. I mean, you can’t NOT look at it. No wonder she disabled comments for the video. Not to mention, I’m getting a male-to-female feel from her, youknowhatI’msayin’? I think it’s the Adam’s apple. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but OY, LADY–this is not the look.

Happy Camel Toe Thursday!* Time for me to put on mascara and go to Zumba class.

* I promise to stop this obsession with days of the week-themed-posts soon. Right after tomorrow’s Frock Friday post, of course.

Gross masks, beautiful nails, and a bad film

Gross masks, beautiful nails, and a bad film

welcome to your nightmares
BOO! Freaked out? The Boy sauntered up to me at the thrift store with the “male” mask on, and I moaned, “Ugh, nooooo…I hate those things!” so naturally I had to get one too.

she's a killer queen
Even scarier. I can’t breathe under that thing–but it’s effectively scary for just a few seconds, long enough to, say, freak someone out in the shower. Heh.

purple nails with black bats
The current nail situation, la tee dah…

close up of bat nails
Right before our Halloween party I’m going to do red nails. I was thinking I might just get some red press-on nails; I’ve never tried them before but I start a new job the following Monday and I don’t really want red nails. Funny how that works. Blue, green, even yellow, sure–but red? So tacky.

Joshy painting
The Boy working on his latest painting.

artists and models
The Boy inexplicably had this on the other day while painting. It’s a pile of crap starring the world’s most bloodcurdlingly annoying person: Jerry Lewis. I couldn’t watch it, but he did call me into the living room to show me “something gross”…

horrible, unnecessary knee adornments
Ah God NO WHY. Some things you just can’t unsee, you know?