Category Archives: Funny

Oh baby!

Oh baby!

Too pregnant to lace shoes...send help!
Heyyyy blog. This may very well be my last blog entry before I have a baby and therefore lose massive amounts of brain cells and stop caring about the Internet and blogging for a while yayyyyyy! However, I have enabled a program to automatically upload all my Instagram photos to Flickr, so even if I’m not HERE, you can find me on Instagram HERE or on Flickr HERE.

At the gym last night. Found out this morning that I might be getting induced at week 39...that's a little over a week away! Squeal! I'm excited!
You wouldn’t think to look at me, but I am still going to the gym. Ever since I found out I will likely be induced on Monday, I’ve actually been making an effort to move MORE. Come on son, let’s get that labor on naturally! Mama doesn’t really want to be induced!

Nursery art for Baby M., from Etsy shop "Lucy Darling Prints". I'd already had the frame for years, waiting for the right piece to show up! πŸ’š
My OB wants to induce me due to my “advanced age” and also because I did IVF. Apparently babies who are born before 40 weeks do better than babies who are born overdue…and Baby M. seems awfully comfortable in there. I’m not comfortable, but he seems to be!

Josh got me a laminated label maker for Christmas...STOKED! People with A.D.D. loooove labeling things.
This labelmaker has already brought me and my A.D.D. so much joy.

Watching Mr. Bennett this weekend! πŸ’•
We agreed to watch Mr. Bennett over the weekend. Thank goodness he is 90% potty trained now, but he is EXTREMELY CLINGY and followed me around every second of every day, which is kind of annoying when you are enormously pregnant and trying to nest. Cute little guy, though.

Happy almost-New-Year! I quit drinking nearly 9 years ago, so I don't remember what it's like to party on New Year's Eve. I assume people still do that, though? Party?
I inadvertently ended up taking my maternity leave a little early, as I discharged my last patient last Friday. I’m available to work this week if any new patients show up, but here it is Thursday and I’ve not received any text messages from my boss. Hmmmm.

Another green/blue glitter beard for work today. Tomorrow night he's going to shave it off into some weird formation, but he promised to let me first give him one more extravagant NYE glitter beard! Yeah! ✨🌟✨
Josh’s last full day of having a giant glitter beard for work last Friday.

🌈🌟✨(thanks @jasoncampbellstudio)
A little rainbow glitter inspiration. He’s had his own “glitter station” in the bathroom for weeks now, talk about adorable. It was a little sad to pack it up.

Happy New Year! Looking forward to some BIG changes in 2017! βœ¨β€οΈπŸ‘ΆπŸŒŸβœ¨
On New Year’s Eve, I pulled out the bag of star-shaped glitter for him and he gave himself an EXTRA glittery beard. I didn’t feel like doing my hair, so I threw on the wig handiest and put a load of “Unicorn Snot” glitter gel and loose glitter on my eyelids and we took some photos.

Sparkle, Neely! πŸŽ‰βœ¨πŸŽ‡
We also drank cider, lit some sparklers and watched “Encino Man”! Let the good times ROLL!

Starting 2017 out on the right (dog) foot with an early-morning dog park session. 🌲
It’s been cold here, but so dry and sunny that all of the mud at the dog park is nice and hard. I’ve been taking the girls to the dog park every day. Let’s go, labor! Arf arf!

Bear Cub and her little white shadow.
Bear Cub ignored Mr. Bennett for the most part during his stay with us. Maggie on the other hand played with him several times. She’s such a good elder dog!

Bear Cub is feeling a little insecure with this third dog around. How will she be with a full-time new baby?!? πŸ˜…
Monday, our last day with Mr. Bennett and a very insecure little Bear Cub curled up against Mommy. How on earth is she going to handle a full-time baby?

Not sure if it's the third dog or the baby coming, but Bear Cub napped on top of me today for the first time in 8 years. It was kinda sweet.
She even went so far as to nap directly on me! What on earth?!

Good-bye, 2016 beard, hello 2017...um, Creep?
The whittling down of the beard kicks off, so I get to be married to a pervert for a few days. I was not into this facial formation AT ALL.

Tonight we're watching the new "Ab Fab" movie. I haven't seen it since I watched it in the theater...it's even better the second time around!
We watched the new “Ab Fab” movie together, which I hadn’t seen since the Broad and I saw it in the theater. Even better the second time around!

Sup, Pornstache?
Monday night, at the gym. This look made me laugh every time I looked at him. He delusionally thought that the mustache made him look more “muscular”. Uh huh.

Probably my last ultrasound before the little dude is born. I'm already obsessed with his feet! 😍
This was on Monday’s ultrasound. Do you die? I DIE. Not even out of my womb yet and I’m already obsessed with his feet.

Basset hounds at the dog park mawww πŸ’•
Being on accidentally-early-maternity leave this week has been okay because the sun has been shining every single day. And I get to spend it with dogs! Look at this basset hound, maw!

Just whipping up a batch of "lactation cookies" this afternoon. Delicious. πŸͺπŸͺπŸͺ
I made a big batch of “lactation cookies” to freeze to help with my milk production. They are mostly oatmeal and dark chocolate chip and pretty delicious.

Watched this last night for the first time in years and shamelessly enjoyed myself. The bad wigs! So good!
Recently we watched the original “Parent Trap” with my old pal Hayley Mills. You will recall that I have my very own awful Hayley Mills wig!

Who's a happy Cub at the dog park today?
Bear Cub in her Happy Place. Meeeee tooooooo.

Bought these socks for Josh for Christmas cause he's a "fun guy" πŸ’–
I bought Josh some sexy argyle socks for Christmas. We like socks in this family.

Adventures in pervy mustaches: day 3.
Tuesday night! Still looking like a pervert!

My mother just texted me this image of their front yard...I am not at all envious.
That brings us up to date: today. My mother texted me this photo of her front yard. GROSS. Boise is going through an intense cold snap and she’s basically snowed in.

My parents will be flying in Sunday night, my in-laws will be driving over Monday, and my induction is scheduled for Monday evening unless Baby M. listens to Mommy and comes naturally! The time is finally here…I’m having a baby! So excited at this point. The terror will set in later, I’m sure. Send us lots of prayers and well-wishes for a healthy labor and delivery and baby!

The good, the bad, and the baby shower

The good, the bad, and the baby shower

Josh broke the bad news to me this morning when we woke up. I'm trying my best to put a positive spin on it, and it's hard--but I recall being similarly disgusted when George W. was elected--twice! And we all got through that. We will be okay. And remembe
Hi blog! This past week had some ups and downs. Let’s talk about the downs first and get them out of the way, eh? Like the shitshow of a Presidential election. Boyyyyy did I pick a bad election year to get emotionally involved! Pregnancy hormones and this particular election DID NOT GET ALONG. I was anxious all Tuesday, refusing to watch anything on the news, deciding that I would rather wait until Wednesday to know the result.

Took the dogs for a walk, the clouds parted and I saw a rainbow. Then I ate 2 chocolate cupcakes and watched Hillary's speech and felt better. Hope you all find something that makes you feel better today too. 🌈
Josh broke the awful news to me at 5 o’clock Wednesday morning, and I was thankful to have a job to go to to distract me that morning. Later on I took the dogs for a walk, and right about the time that we got to the park, the rain stopped and I saw a beautiful rainbow, and it made me hopeful. I gave myself one day, THAT day, to grieve over the election, and I’ve decided for the sake of my mental health and the health of my unborn son, that I can’t perseverate on it any more. Life goes on! Talk to any 85-year-old and they’ll tell you that there have been many horrible Presidential election results over the decades and guess what? We all got through it.

Bear Cub is happy that the sun is shining today! 🌞
Here are some ways I’ve found to lift my post-election mood:

1. Extra Vitamin D
2. Using my “happy light” every morning while I do my make-up
3. DOGS! DOGS! DOGS!
4. Walking, lifting weights, and yoga, and
5. Avoid 99.999999% of social media and install a blocking app on your phone that will block you-know-who’s name from all the websites you read. It helps. Some.

Mom and Bear Schnubs enjoying this beautiful Fall day. 🌞
At any rate I couldn’t stay depressed because Mumsie came into town Wednesday night! And it was really comforting having her visit, I must say.

Mother and daughter. πŸ’›
We went for walks, she made her delicious lemon chicken enchiladas on Thursday night, we watched lots of funny stuff…

Tonight we watched an old favorite with my mother. 🌈
…like classic episodes of “In Living Color” and “What About Bob?”.

Me and my Bear πŸ’•
And even though the weather forecast showed nothing but rainclouds, there were lots of sun breaks and plenty of times when the weather was just downright WARM. To this pregnant body, anyway.

Ahhhhhhh 🌞
Sunshine makes me feel good.

Delicious Indian dinner with family and friends.
On Friday night my cousin Erika and Aunt Claire arrived into town with Erika’s friend, and we all went out to the Saffron Grill, a delicious Indian restaurant in Seattle. Mmmmmm. Good Times were had by all! I genuinely missed my Aunt Claire.

Mom meets Mr. Bennett. πŸ’•
That night my mother met Mr. Bennett for the first time. Love! Puppy love!

On the way to my baby shower this afternoon. The false eyelashes peeled off about halfway through, roops!
The next day it was time for my baby shower, graciously hosted by Erika at Brenna’s Manse. I only had to get pretty and show up, which works for me! I wore a paisley fluid jersey maxi dress from Pink Blush, sandals, and some E.L.F. false eyelashes with questionable eyelash glue that started peeling off about halfway through my baby shower. Whoops!

A couple of pregnant blondes due 3 weeks apart with boys. πŸ’™πŸ’™
Erika took a slew of photos with her “real” camera that I haven’t received yet, so in the meantime here is a small collection of (blurry) iphone photos. Here’s a couple of pregnant blondes, due three weeks apart with our first boy children. Maw.

Opening a pile of presents for Baby M. at my shower today. What an amazing turnout of wonderful women!
The turnout was truly impressive, as you can see by the enormous pile of gifts for Baby M.! Erika really outdid herself. Everything was beautiful and perfect, from the decorations to the food to the games we played.

Four pregnant bellies all in a row, all due with boys early next year.
Four pregnant women all due in early 2017 with boy children!

Erika brought Voodoo Donuts from Portland for my shower presents, mmmmm. 🍩
Erika brought Voodoo donuts for the party favors, mmmmm.

Mom and @idahoagogo looking cute at my shower yesterday.
Such a cute picture of Christy and my mother.

My Broad and Mr. Bennett. πŸ’•
And look! My Broad! She tried to coax Mr. Bennett into jumping in her bag and going home with her, but it didn’t work out. More photos from the baby shower to come.

One last cold blustery walk with Mom and the dogs today. Brrr!
The next day, Mom and I took the girls on one more cold blustery walk, and then later on she had to get back on a plane and fly home, which was sad. Luckily I’ll see both my parents next week, when they fly up to Spokane for Thanksgiving. All of our parents together at last! It only took 11 years!

The latest Mandala painting, fully glittered. Now I just have to decide if it's really "done", or just done because I'm sick of working on it! 😝
In NON-BABY NEWS (bwa ha ha)…I’m 96% sure I’m done with this Mandala.

@espedp took some beautiful maternity photos of me. πŸ’™
Whoops! Back to baby! I have a slew of gorgeous pictures that my friend Espe took of me in a park to post soon.

How stoked am I to see my son in these rainbow unicorn onesies one of Josh's co-workers bought us?! 🌈
Josh’s co-workers threw him a baby shower at work on Monday, and LOOK! A rainbow unicorn onesie for Baby M.! STOKED!

Yesterday's nature walk with Maggie dog. 🌲
We’re about to go do this. Gotta keep it movin’!

Halloween decorations, big bellies and election fatigue

Halloween decorations, big bellies and election fatigue

Con: baby kicks had me up at 5 this morning. Pro: what a beautiful sunrise! πŸŒ…
Hola blog. This was the beautiful sunrise I got to witness last week when Baby M. woke me up at 5 am.

Phase 3 of ombrΓ©-fying the free dresser: complete! We only spent money on the drawer pulls. Total cost: less than 20$.
Phase 3 of ombre-fying the free dresser: complete! We already had the paint, so we just had to pay for new drawer pulls. Total cost of this project: less than 20 dollars.

I have a furry bodyguard. πŸ’•
I have a furry bodyguard.

Ooh, how soon do I get to dress my son up like this? πŸ‡(thanks @thehornynun)
Ooh! Ooooh! How soon do I get to dress my son up like a cluster of grapes??! SO EXCITED.

Out of all of our #Halloween decorations, the flying vampire dog is one of my faves. πŸŽƒ
One day last week I pulled it together and put up about half the Halloween decorations. I’m glad we aren’t trying to have a Halloween party this year–it’s just too much work and money and I’m too big and pregnant and tired and sweaty. I’ve always loved the vampire dog decoration.

Gotta get our walks in between rain showers 🌲
Today I am 28 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and officially into my third and FINAL trimester. Woo hoo! Baby M. is the size of a…head of cauliflower? Really, pregnancy app? A 16 inch cauliflower? Uh huh.

The bloody handprints...always a classy touch...πŸŽƒ
Beginning at week 28 you are supposed to start counting baby kicks. They are supposed to kick, on average, 10 times per hour. This morning when I woke up at 7, he kicked me 10 times in 8 MINUTES. Just like his father!

"Watching" the debates last night...except while eating. Interestingly, I have more body confidence now than I've ever had in my life...oh pregnancy hormones!
Ta daaaah. Josh took this photo and I wasn’t really planning on posting it but pregnancy hormones have made me oddly body confident. I was watching the third presidential debate at the time…I made it through almost the entire thing, except while I was eating, because I cannot look at Donald Trump and eat.

Sun's out, furry buns out! 😎
We received our ballots in the mail and I cannot WAIT to fill mine out and be DONE. What a disgusting election year it’s been!

Magical 🌲
I’m also glad that Washington has a mail-in ballot. I wouldn’t want to stand in line to vote. I’m not that fond of standing in place, period, right now. My aching feet!

Tonight: the new "Ghostbusters" and THIS 😍
Look what this crazy husband of mine brought home on Friday night–an ice cream pie with a cookie dough crust. Would you believe it’s too sweet for me? I probably would have enjoyed it during my first trimester, when I was enjoying everythinnnnng.

My favorite scene. I have a big lesbian crush on Kate McKinnon 😍
We watched the new “Ghostbusters” movie Friday night. I have a big ol’ lesbian crush on Kate McKinnon. If you haven’t, do yourself a favor and watch this SNL sketch on youtube. It makes me cry with laughter!

On our way to a co-ed baby shower. It's a beautiful sunny day! 🌞
On Saturday we were invited to a baby shower…a four hour long baby shower. Ooooh boy. Co-ed, which is fun, but also Josh and I realized it was the first non-work baby shower we had ever attended. Apparently we don’t hang out with a lot of breeders!

A couple of happy pregnant ladies in florals. We are due 2 weeks apart, with boys.
Kay used to work with Josh. She is beautiful and glowing, and due two weeks before me, also with a boy. I loved her dress.

@djmagicelf winning one of the games at the baby shower today. By cheating! Blatantly!
Here’s Josh blatantly cheating to win one of the many games that were played during the baby shower. He won 3 scented candles, one of which I immediately gave away (at the shower) and the other I donated to work. I pretty much can’t stand 99% of scented candles. Scent-sensitive!

It was a fun shower, and the food was all Hawaiian and therefore delicious, but by the 3 hour mark I was exhausted and overstimulated and ready to lie down. Saturday was a beautiful sunny day, so we tried to speed home and take some maternity photos in the park. The weather was only semi-cooperating. I’ll post the pictures that did turn out later this week.

It's that time of year again! πŸ‘»
Yes it’s that time of year again! Time to break out the creepy masks!

Fall splendor.
We’re going to dress up for work and dress up at home and hand out candy but that’s about it, this year. I can’t even watch horror movies because my pregnancy hormones have made me too sensitive! Can you believe it?

Today we met a mini Australian Shepherd named Kona 😍
Dyiiiiiing over this mini Australian shepherd we met at the park, sigh!

Forest therapy. πŸ’š
It’s sunny outside right now, so I’m about to take the rogs to the park to play.

I want these soooo baaaaad.
And finally, I don’t like dolls, but if I did, I would be all over these “Golden Girls”! Aren’t they the cutest? Have a happy Halloween, blog-logs!

Dog training, painting away stress, and home improvements

Dog training, painting away stress, and home improvements

Fall doesn't need a filter 😍
Hiya blog! I am sleep deprived currently so here comes a ramble. Would you look at those beautiful Fall colors though? Siiiiigh….

Things are gettin' real around here.
Josh took this last night and it made me laugh so hard for so long that of course I had to put it on social media and then text it to everyone because that’s what you DO, right? Right.

Gorgeous Fall day today. 🌲
Last night was the worst night of sleep I’ve had yet, but I suppose since I’ve been pregnant since the end of April that’s not a bad record, eh? (trying to look on the bright side) (TRYING SO HARD)

More progress. I had to work on it last night to Zen out after watching 20 minutes of the debate 😳
On Sunday we tried to watch the second Presidential debate, got 20 minutes into it and were both so disgusted and sick to our stomachs we put on “Ridiculousness” instead, which in comparison was practically therapeutic. I also worked on the latest Mandala to paint away the stress. This election can’t come quick enough, I’ve finally reached my Politics Saturation Point.

Who says you can't teach old dogs new tricks?
Hey now, who says you can’t teach old dogs new tricks? Ramp training went a lot better than I expected. For now I have the back seat of the car down so they can have the entire back of the car for a couple of months. I thought I’d gradually eeeeease them into their new reality which is going to be delegation to the back back of the car. The way back, if you will.

John Mulaney is so funny. If I lived in NYC I would definitely go see "Oh, Hello" on Broadway.
I’ve been watching a lot of Chelsea Handler’s new Netflix show while I paint. She interviewed John Mulaney and Nick Kroll, who do an obnoxious duo named Gil and George who apparently now have a show on Broadway! Good for them! I’d go if I lived in NYC! They make me cackle.

First day of ramp training: success! A string cheese may have been involved (for motivation).
I listen to a lot of stand-up comedy these days. Louis CK, Margaret Cho, Amy Schumer, Pablo Francisco. I’m even finally able to listen to Robin Williams again without feeling the sads. His routine about GPS voices made me laugh out loud at the gym last night! Can you imagine? A giant pregnant blonde lady waddling around lifting weights and laughing deliriously? Good thing I don’t have any “shame”.

Tonight we watched "psyCHO". Oh Margaret Cho! I love youuuu! 😻
We also watched “Psy-CHO” the other night. I’m relieved to find that my love for Margaret Cho is as strong as ever. Also a new revelation: she mentions wanting kids in this stand-up! I never knew she wanted kids before. Maybe the hormones finally caught up with her.

Headdress inspiration! (thanks @reformthefunk)
Kind of obsessed with Bert Stern’s photography at the moment. This would be so much fun to paint.

Josh had some "fun" hair this morning.
He’s growing out a beard but promised to shave it off after Thanksgiving (before my birthday). To counterbalance all that crap, he’s also growing his hair out. This was his morning hair the other day. I thought it was cute!

Anyone watching "All Stars"? I'm #teamkatya, but I love Detox too. Especially this outfit! πŸ˜‚
Speaking of that dude, I can credit him to discovering that we can watch RuPaul’s “All Stars” on vh1! Alriiiiiight. #TeamKatya again! (this is Detox and I loved her outfit)

The vanity I will eventually be moving my giant make-up collection to. I'm not in a hurry...still have 3 months!
I’m in the process of slowwwwwly moving all my beauty stuff into the office. Thanks to Fleeta for giving us this vanity and also letting me have the bench (after I begged). I think it looks pretty great against the acid green walls!

DIY'd some lights onto the vanity Josh's mom gave us. I'm sacrificing the room with the best light for the nursery. 😭 Does it need more lights?!
I bought these cool lights at Lowe’s that stick onto the mirror. They are remote controlled and dim and brighten, oooooh.

Happy Friday! πŸ’š
I still have three more months to utilize the good light in the nursery though. And I’m gonna use it.

Current inspiration to re-paint the dresser we scored on "Buy Nothing". Loving the ombrΓ© look!
Speaking of that nursery, we scored a free dresser on “Buy Nothing” and are in the process of re-finishing it to resemble something similar to this. I’m loving this ombre look on furniture.

Going to start ramp training the dogs for my Subaru soon. Wish me luck--one dog is 8 and hates change, one dog is nearly 11 and well, Maggie dog is many things but she isn't too bright! Sigh.
I’m trying really hard to recall what we did last weekend, and nothing is coming to mind. Harrumph.

Siiiiiiigh...(thanks @richardquartley)
Another Bert Stern.

Dog park yeah! πŸ’–
Who likes dogfriends? We like dogfriends!

πŸ’š
My dogfriends are currently passed out at my feet as I type this entry. I am 26 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and other than the heartburn, restless legs at night, and sleep deprivation…everything is FINE, JUST FINE.

Another minky/flannel baby blanket complete! Now I need to find some dinosaur flannel.
Three more months! Then it’s gonna be a whole new kind of sleep deprivation, right? Groan. Look at this adorable little minkie blanket I made for my son, before he started keeping me awake all night with kicks. Have a fabulous week, bloggeroonies!

If you want it, here it is! Come and get it.

If you want it, here it is! Come and get it.

My dogs like to graze on grass like cattle. 🌾
Happy Sunday! Here is Bear Schnubs grazing on grass like a cow. Mooooo, Bear Cub.

Two goofy furry faces, waiting for me to throw the ball. 🎾
The sun just showed itself for about 45 minutes so we took the opportunity to go outside and go for walkies. And fetchies. Ugh, sorry.

Tonight we watched "Dope" (2015). Good movie, with an excellent 90s hip hop soundtrack (my fave).
“Dope” is a real cute little indie film, not for children, with a solid early 90’s hip-hop soundtrack (my favorite). Recommended!

Today. πŸ’šπŸŒΏπŸΆ
Today I am 5 weeks, 6 days pregnant. Still with the Sore Boobs from Hell. I went to Old Navy this week–the clothing, interestingly, was very “maternity-friendly”, that is to say the style of all the tops is loose and flow-y right now. Too bad everything was poorly made and flimsy. BOO OLD NAVY. I did however purchase two new sports bras–I’m a size large now! The girls are growing!

Awww...I love it when my favorite wins! #teamBob woo hooooo! πŸ’–πŸŒŸβœ¨
Bob the Drag Queen won this season of “Drag Race”! I love it when my favorite wins. Ru Paul and I are so in SYNC.

Honeysuckle in the backyard.
This is honeysuckle in the backyard. I thought it would have more of a scent.

Who's a pretty little girl?
Who’s a pretty little girl?

Chelsea Handler interviewing Gwen Stefani: two blondes I ❀️.
Two of my favorite blondes–one a singer and one a broad–Gwen Stefani on Chelsea Handler’s new show.

Hot pink trellis rose. πŸ’–
We are clearly doing something right because the rose output from all of our bushes this year is HUGE.

Sunset is such good lighting. πŸŒ…
I mean sometimes you just gotta take your top off and take sunset selfies, ya know?

New sunglasses from "Knockaround", only 10 clams! TGIF! 😎
Somewhere (on the Internet) I must have heard of “Knockaround” sunglasses–super cute and only 10 bucks! I love cheap sunglasses.

Lush. πŸ’šπŸŒΏπŸΆ
This week I walked the dogs every day except yesterday…yesterday I was glued to the couch, watching a Coen brothers marathon on the recently discovered “Viceland” channel. I watched “Barton Fink” and most of “The Big Lebowksi”, which I own, but never mind that.

Marilyn and dogfriend. ❀️
Here’s Marilyn and dogfriend.

Little pink blossom tree. 🌸
I lifted light weights on three days. I ate a LOT. I set “My Fitness Pal” to the first-trimester-recommended 1800 calories, which I am following…loosely.

You recall that my parents met at a 31 Flavors. Love of ice cream is in my blood! Can't fight it! 🍦
I sometimes don’t put everything in MFP, such as the two delicious scoops of ice cream I snarfed last night from 31 Flavors. Oh yes, followers of this blog might be proud of me for this: I HID MY SCALE. That’s a big step for me. I’m pregnant and I don’t need to weigh myself every day! NOT HEALTHY!

I love Maria Bamford. She's such a weirdo.
The lovable weirdo Maria Bamford has a new show on Netflix called “Lady Dynamite”. I like it.

These sunsets lately. Woof. πŸ’™
There have been some amazing sunset sightings out the beauty room (soon to be baby room) window lately.

Bear Cub is okay with the fact that the weather forecast was wrong today. 🌞
Here’s Bear Schnubs enjoying a little sunshine today!

I have another week of work lined up, hooray! Hurrah! And my in-laws will be visiting us at the end of the week. Perhaps Fleeta can help me visualize where in the hell I am going to put the contents of my Beauty Room…including all of my fabric and sewing stuff, all of my beauty stuff, my wigs, and my dresses. HELP!

A chocolate factory, good news, and delicious foodstuffs

A chocolate factory, good news, and delicious foodstuffs

A couple of dorks touring a chocolate factory for funsies.
Hey dudes! Look at these dorks touring the Theo Chocolate Factory in Fremont last Saturday. Nice hair nets!

Saturday morning we drove into Seattle to the clinic for my “beta” blood test–the first test to determine whether or not I am REALLY pregnant. I knew I was REALLY pregnant because my boobs feel like they are going to fall off at any given moment, they hurt so much, but still–verification was necessary!

@djmagicelf and his furry friend. πŸ›
Then we fooled around with wildlife outside the factory, waiting for the tour to start at 11 o’clock. A few different people had told me about this tour, and for 10 dollars we figured it would be a nice distraction, waiting to find out the results of my blood test.

Recommended: for 10 clams you can tour the Theo chocolate factory in Fremont. Delicious samples! 🍫
And even though I was praying for a positive test 95% of the time we were on the tour, it WAS a pleasant experience! For the first hour, you sit in a nice breezy green room and get fed samples of chocolate while you learn all about Theo’s “bean to bar” process.

You can't tell because of the reflection off the glass, but that's the chocolate pipeline at Theo's Chocolate Factory. Mmmmm.
After 30 minutes, you get to actually go inside the factory, where you get to see the actual “Chocolate Pipeline”! Just like in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”! The tour ends in the kitchen, where you snarf delicious samples of ganache. Mmmmmmm.

We stopped at the gift shop on the way out (you get a discount for participating in the tour) and were just about to pay when my phone rang! I yanked it out of my purse and ran for the door of the gift shop (distressing my husband, who thought I was doing a runner) and was actually SO excited, I hung up on clinic! Roops! Luckily they called me right back with the BEST NEWS EVER: I’M PREGNANT!

Lunch at Roxy's in Fremont today. Psychedelic murals and glitter vinyl galore...dreamy. The BLT and cheese blintzes we split were damn good too.
So we sat in the car and happily cried and then I texted everyone and then my mother called me and we both cried over the phone and then we went to Roxy’s Diner in Fremont and split a BLT and cheese blintzes. Holy schmoly, HIGHLY recommended.Β 

Ali Wong is hilarious, and who looks this cute 7 months pregnant?
Also recommended: Ali Wong’s “Baby Cobra”, as long as you don’t mind raunchy humor. She’s 7 and a half months pregnant during this stand-up routine, and when do you ever hear about progesterone suppositories in stand-up, eh? Talk about timely. Also she’s really cute.

This rhody in the front yard is looking lush πŸ’–
I had to go back to the clinic yesterday morning for a follow-up blood test to measure the hcg, and also check my thyroid. Luckily I got called in to my old job, so I was distracted for hours before I received the phone call in the afternoon. My hcg levels look great (!!!), but my thyroid is borderline, and I “shouldn’t worry about it.” Alrighty then. Here’s me not worrying about it.

Another gorgeous afternoon at Marymoor Park.
Now I don’t have any more tests until the very important First Ultrasound at the end of this month, which will be done by my actual doctor, which will be nice, because I haven’t seen her in a while.

Wet dogs + sunshine = Bliss. 🌈
Meanwhile I’m supposed to start looking for an OB! Oh Boy!

Pretty sure we've already gone to Marymoor more times this year than any other...oh it's gonna be a hot summer in Seattle! πŸ’¦
I have worked lined up for the rest of the month, which is wonderful.

Musical entertainment at Kama'aina Grindz. I had been wanting to try their Hawaiian food for over a year, and it did not disappoint. Mmmm. 🌺
Also wonderful: the Hawaiian food we snarfed Friday night at Kama’aina Grindz, a restaurant in Everett I’d been wanting to try for…oh, a year and a half or so.

"New" purse (thanks eBay) by Lily Bloom. Bonus: lots of compartments. But will I remember what I put in them?
It was time to surrender my big ass heavy leather Fossil purse for something lightweight for spring/summer. I discovered the “Lily Bloom” line and scored this little guy on eBay for less than 30 clams. Their entire line is made from recycled materials, and ADORABLE.

Cool sunset tonight. πŸ’™
I can tell you that this sunset was far more beautiful in real life than in this photo. I should have used the camera. Speaking of the camera, I need to start documenting my naked pregnant body. I thought the transformation might be “fun” to look at later on. Ha! Ha! NOT ON THIS BLOG, DON’T WORRY MOM.Β 

"Moonwalkers": set in the psychedelic 60s, with a plot centering around the Kubrick moon landing conspiracy AND starring Ron Perlman, how could I not watch it? Odd and enjoyable.
“Moonwalkers” is a weird little indie film but you should watch it if you enjoy: 1. movies set in the psychedelic 60’s 2. anything about Stanley Kubrick 3. conspiracy theories about the moon landing and/or 4. Ron Perlman. It has them all!

Yesterday (it was much warmer). LaCroix, sweetie. Darling. That reminds me, I can't wait to see the "Ab Fab" movie!
LaCroix, sweetie. I always think I’m going to like flavored seltzer water and then I never do. Harrumph.

I made a furry friend at grandma's house. 😺
Sunday was Mother’s Day so we went to Josh’s grandmother’s house for BBQ. The house kitty was loving all over me.

“Feel free to take her home,” they offered, but I declined.

Grandma's purple rhody's are gorg. πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ
Gorgeous deep purple rhodies outside grandma’s house. She promised to give me starts for mini irises next time.

A gorgeous May afternoon. 🌾
Today I am going to the library to get some “fun” pregnancy books (I have a few from 43252352 years ago when I first started trying to get pregnant but they are not fun). I need to work on Corinne’s last cat painting. Painting white fur is giving me fits.

Oh well, it's a daisy age 🌸
What else? Walk the dogs. Lift some weights. Find out if it’s time for the finale of “Drag Race”–I doubt it, Ru usually draaaaaaaags the finale out, to make us SUFFER.

Field of dogs.
Have a nice week, blog-logs!

Nature, Madeline Kahn and a funny mockumentary

Nature, Madeline Kahn and a funny mockumentary

Another 4 mile training run with this furry bunch today. @djmagicelf continued another 9 miles after us. πŸ’ͺ
Hey-yooooo what’s happening, blog? It’s Thursday and I just finished my half a cup of coffee and there is a musty Bear Cub at my feet while I am writing this blog entry. This photo is from Sunday, when we went on a four mile trail “run” together.

Nice mushroom! πŸ„
Nice ‘shroom!

Happy running face earlier today. We both wore our contacts for the run, and now our eyeballs are burning! Oh those spring allergies! πŸ’¦
At the beginning of the run, lip stain still intact. We both wore our contacts that day and then had burning eyeballs for the rest of the night. Ohhhh spring allergies!

πŸ’š
Currently I’m killing time before I meet one of my former bosses for coffee. Then it’ll be some kind of fun furry outdoor activity, because it’s supposed to be 80Β degreesΒ today, and I (luckily?) have the day off.

Finished painting the guest room last night. The "true" colors are really hard to capture via photo, but it's "Soothing lavender" on the top and "Periwinkle dream" on the bottom. Hi Jerry!
This is a grainy and not particularly color-accurate photo of the completed paint job in the guest bedroom: “Soothing Lavender” on top, “Periwinkle Dream” on the bottom. Somehow my vision for the room went from dark blue to dark purple to light purple (yuck, never mind) to THIS, and we both like it.

The sun showed up, so we rushed outside for ball fetching and rainbow spotting. 🎾
I mean, sure, it’s another blue room and it seems like every room we re-paint is either blue or green but is there anything really wrong with that? They are, after all, the best colors!

Finally got around to putting photos in these cool shell frames Josh bought me in 2014: Josh on skis and (what else?) my dogs!
Josh bought me these colorful shell frames for my birthday in 2014 and I finally got around to putting photos in them. I have a Grand Vision of editing/printing out photos from years past but considering the amount of photos we take, that seems daunting. Then I considered editing/printing out photos one year at a time, starting in 2008 (I lost all the photos from 2005-2007 on a ruined hard drive). I made it through August 2008 before losing interest. We take a lot of photos in this family!

I πŸ’› Madeline Kahn.
Oh Madeline Kahn, I love you. You have no idea how many times I just casually bust out:

I’ve been with thousands of men
Again and again
They promise the moon
They’re always coming and going
and going and coming
…and always too soon! (here)

Spotted in my neighbor's yard. 🌸
Sometimes Bear Cub lets me drag her around the neighborhood (she can be a stubborn Cub) so we can gawk at all of my neighbors’ beautiful flowers.

It's a gloomy day out, but that doesn't deter us. 🌿
Monday was a gloomy, rainy day. I made some fair progress on Corinne’s cat painting number 1.

Surprise find at Safeway this morning, for only 1$! Mmmmm. 😍
And what should I find at Safeway for only one dollah? Why, delicious Bedford’s ginger ale, mmmmmm.

My ode to cloche hats, circa 2005. I still haven't made any cloche hats! Fleece and faux fur beanies, yes.
A brief trip down memory lane. This is from a little journal I kept when I worked at the fabric store, my first year of living in Washington. I was so bored (because we had such little business) that I journaled and then knit and then eventually brought my sewing machine in and then Ali told me I had to “work” and I didn’t like that so much so I finished my graduate degree and became a speech therapist! Huzzah!

Josh wants me to explore some stars. πŸŒŸπŸ’«βœ¨
Christmas present from Josh. I haven’t used it yet, but I’m thinking about it, by gum!

Bill Hader as Little Edie...I mean, "Little Vivvy", in "Sandy Passage". Hilarious!
Bill Hader and Fred Armison in “Documentary Now!”, a send-up of famous documentaries. You can imagine that my favorite one was “Sandy Passage”, a dead-on mockumentary of “Grey Gardens”, starring Hader as Little “Vivvy” with sweatpants on her head. Yes! The “surprise” ending is WORTH IT.

The eyelash extensions are finally out, after a whole year...and I think my natural top lashes are shorter than the bottom ones. Sob! Natural lashes are overrated!
How disappointing to discover what tiny, blonde and short natural eyelashes I possess after a year or so of extensions. In fact, I think my bottom lashes might be longer than my top lashes now! SOB!

Post-haircut and feeling pretty again. πŸ’›
I had to get over the sadness of no longer possessing glamorous lashes by getting my tri-annual haircut yesterday from my favorite stylist. She is pregnant with a girl baby, happy and adorable and we spent the hour and a half it took to do my hair (she is thorough) gabbing about babies and pregnancy.

I love these checkered lilies.
After that, I had a Sephora gift card from Christmas and 25 dollars on a Nordstrom gift card (from who knows when?) so I sashayed over to the mall to spend them. I had a list with me of some perfumes and products I was interested in, but the only item on the list that Nordstrom and Sephora had was a cannabis perfume by Fresh. It has a patchouli note in it and I looooove patchouli, because I am a dirty hippie at heart.

Tree fort! 🌲
However, said perfume was 90 BUCKS and that’s outrageous for patchouli so I used my gift card to buy a Fresh lip tint instead (total cost to me: 62 cents) and then at Sephora I bought a new foundation compact (total cost to me: 0 cents). I informed them that I never received my birthday gift back in December because they had “run out” (true story) and so I got the April birthday gift: a Marc Jacobs lipstick and black eyeliner. Verdict: eh. Have you ever gotten a free lipstick that was a color that actually worked on you? I haven’t. The eyeliner’s not bad, though.

🌿
Also recently discovered: a gift card for 50 dollars to Jo Ann Fabrics…that’s next!

Maggie and Bear Cub are VERY interested in that cat across the street. 😸
Dog butts at the window, barking at a cat across the street.

That brings us up to date! Time for breakfast. Catch yer later.