Hey-yo! It’s Monday. According to the app I check frequently to remind myself just how pregnant I am, I am currently 5 weeks and 0 days pregnant, and my little boy is the size of an orange seed.

Everyone keeps asking me how I am doing. Here’s how I am doing: TIRED.

Being tired is evidently a hallmark of the first trimester; being horny is a hallmark of the second. Looking forward to that!

Josh had texted me: “A longer ring ringer to pointer finger ratio indicates less heart disease, better sense of direction and more risk taking...” Ah ha! No wonder I have such a poor sense of direction! It’s my fingers’ fault.

GROSS. Don’t do it. I’m trying to give up gum anyway, as I am certain there isn’t a single artificial sweetener in the world that is 100% safe during pregnancy. Or even non-pregnancy, for that matter. I traded my smoking in the car habit for gum in the car, and now what am I supposed to do? Maybe I should get some hard candies. Like an old person.

Other than the tiredness and getting up to pee 3 times a night and the boobs hurting, I have no other pregnancy symptoms. In fact, I feel SO normal that yesterday morning just for funsies I took a home pregnancy test. It was positive! Of course. My first one ever.

I took a picture of it, but I can’t share it to FB or any social media. I’m not supposed to even tell ANYONE until the second trimester, YEAH RIGHT! I don’t keep secrets.

I received a scary text at work today that Josh’s dad went to the hospital–apparently he had an angina flare-up, and he’ll be okay, but nobody likes that stuff. Poor Josh.

I took the girls for a walk immediately after work and the entire time I was fantasizing about a nap. Ohhhhh those mid-afternoon naps! Lovin’ them! Matter ‘o’ fact I have a date with my couch right after this blog entry.

Behold the power of fertilizing with eggshells! Three times as many roses as last year!

Last week was really hot and sunny, but the last couple of days it’s cooled down again. I just wore a long-sleeved shirt, pants, and a long-sleeved fleece jacket on our dog walk. Spring weather here is unpredictable.

I’m trying to remember what I did this past weekend and it’s not adding up to a hell of a lot. Support group on Saturday–we’re meeting at people’s houses now, instead of at the clinic. I ate a LOT. Then…napping, watching movies, eating a lot of pizza-flavored Pringles? This isn’t making for interesting blog fodder!

I love Paul Thomas Anderson (“Boogie Nights”, “Magnolia”) and I really WANT to love “Inherent Vice”…I tried reading the book last year and failed miserably, but ahHhHHHhhHH this movie is about as difficult to decipher as the second season of “True Detective”. Oy vey. Maybe a second viewing would help.

My mother has been sending me animal photos and videos lately up the wazoo. This one was a favorite. Maw!

I watched another PBS Masters documentary: “The Out List”. It’s really good.

A misty rainy drizzly family walk yesterday.

Dorks in the rain!

More good advice from E. Jean.

Maybe orange IS a good color for me. Note to self: wear more orange.

Salmonberries have started popping up on our walks. I made the mistake of putting a not-quite-ripe one in my maw. Yuck!

YES, I HEAR YOU, COME TO ME, MMMMMmmmmmMMMM.

That’s all for now! If you’ll excuse me, the couch is a’callin’.